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breaking down

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by forever_scarred, Jun 13, 2010.

  1. forever_scarred

    forever_scarred Well-Known Member

    feel like im gonna lose it at any second...holding back the tears...so much stuff building up inside. things that i cant hold inside anymore, they frighten me, make me mistrust the people i trust now....one of the owners of the barn i ride/work at is very sick....there is a rumor he may have cancer and that terrifies me....just got a text from a friend "dont be surprised if one day you wake up and hear that im gone. Just a warning. Goodnight." she and i are very close...i cant loose her too...still getting over scott leaving me, still hurts like the blade is still being twisted within my heart....at the point of hating my best friend for ditching me for a man....and lastly for mom its getting so close and i have no way to say or express what i feel...i want to cry so bad but i cant its like my tears get stuck in my throat, i try to let go but nothing comes out....
  2. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey there,, Do you have a support system set up?? A pdoc, therapist, counselar, Good friend?? You really need to vent this.. So far your doing a good job by posting here.. Vent your frustrations here all you want.. We are here for you..Please don't think you are alone because your not...
  3. forever_scarred

    forever_scarred Well-Known Member

    I basically have nothing...i dont go to the doctors dont trust at all...same with therapists etc because of being threatened...the friend i used to always talked to ditched me...mostly i just sit and dwell on it cuz it has no place to go...just keep pushing it down til i explode like i did last nite....except no tears came, i wanted to let them go, let them flow down my cheeks but nothing came...