Everything is rushing, rushing, rushing. Apparently this is the point in my depression where I'm hitting my low again. Last time I hit, I came close to death. Everything pisses me off of saddens me to tears. I'm realizing I'm going to be alone forever which shouldn't be bothering me but it is. This girl I believe I'm in-love with, I cannot talk to her about my suicidal tendencies as her brother killed himself just over a year ago and suicide doesn't seem to be a good topic for her. She's the only person I can talk to about it and I can't even do that. Nothing is worth what it may seem there is no one I have to lean let me wake up from this dream. I'm going to schedule my demise.