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Breaking me down

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I am confused and really dont have no other choice then being another loser like they wants me to be, in future theirs no future for me I have only warm heat from my apartment though I cant die from freezing, at least.

Caught myself for being cold I cannot cry anymore, so sad I want to but cant, I just want to be normal like everybody else but diagnosis and economic causes I'm a total fool, got no job and cant get one cause of the none-existing grades ive got(or not got).
Im not looking for attention just understanding... money isnt the problem for now just need good-caring ones to talk to, who does understands the difficult of being a little not like others, "a fool", "an idiot", you know...

Then I hate writing on a computer, not that you arent reading or not caring but to imagine no one is caring about you is breaking my heart, therefore better talking to a REAL person instead, We were all born belonging to ones herd(mum, dad, grandmother/father, siblings...), then tell when you felt alone but you could always give a hug, kiss or whatever then fine right away, playground is waiting...; This is a normal family and actually I have never been lived in one so I cant feel those moments like you possibly can but good news I dont have Aids or any other kinds of diseases, but life does sucks so much you cant imagine.

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