breaking point

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Wastingecho

Well-Known Member
#21
birthday last saturday - wife, 3 adult kids, sister-in-law at home - got a t-shirt from my son because he saw one that day while his sisters took him out to get him a new computer for HIS birthday - not even so much as a card from anyone

found a problem at work - big potential risk - but because it hadn't blown up in anyone's face yet I got brushed off

can't believe anyone cares about me
 

Wastingecho

Well-Known Member
#26
completely paralyzed at work - don't know what i'm supposed to do, how far i'm supposed to go

no one has the time to help so i do nothing and continue to feel useless

after months of looking, wife got a new job

takes the pressure off of fighting to stay around - she'll be able to pay off the house and deal with the regular bills on her own after i'm dead
 

youRprecious!

Antiquities Friend
#27
Hey, I am very glad that your wife has a new job W, that is a really positive step. Please don't jeopardise this job for her by now offing yourself, she would be very likely to lose it because of trying to cope with 2 huge life changes both at once......
 

Wastingecho

Well-Known Member
#29
she needs me?

i have been sick for the last four days - 102 fever, possibly strep - doctor wouldn't take a throat swab because he thought i would be screaming in pain

sleeping upstairs on the couch so i don't get anyone else sick

she has checked on me exactly twice
 

youRprecious!

Antiquities Friend
#31
W - sorry to hear that you are so sick at the moment and that your wife isn't being that attentive. Please use all that 'stickability' you have within you to tell yourself that, despite appearances, this need only be temporary pits. Your temperature will decrease and your throat will heal, and your wife will start her new job and it is possible to work upon yourself so she becomes aware of, actually, how important you are to her and that you can begin a new page in your life together, (both knowing and understanding what you've been able to overcome from 'that dark time', as you look back on it.) :) If you have the time for reading a book that will help, while you are recovering, "His Needs Her Needs" by William J. Harley is fantastic sense for couples..... (it's what turned the tide for me, in my marriage)
 

WildCherry

Owner Emeritus
#33
You're worth more than you realize. I know you don't believe me though, and I wish I had the words to help you see yourself differently.
 

Wastingecho

Well-Known Member
#34
i'm just so very tired

antibiotics causing stomach pain - now i'm coughing so hard i can't move for 5 minutes afterward

can't find a position to sleep in that lets me breathe easily - have no strength

physical and mental reserves are shot

have what i need to solve the whole problem except my daughter is a damned emt and is right down the hall and i don't have the energy to leave the house
 

youRprecious!

Antiquities Friend
#35
emt???

Oh Gosh, if there is anyone not worth saving, it would have been me.......... but how totally wrong I was back then......... I can see it now, but couldn't then, please give yourself that chance, W :)
 

youRprecious!

Antiquities Friend
#37
then she would have seen far worse cases W - maybe it might be worth asking her a bit about the jobs she has attended and the persons she's saved - what she's able to say to them etc...... she obviously has a vast amount of compassion within, I am sure she could spare some for her old man :) Family ties are still there, even though we cannot see how they operate, we are connected in a very real way.....
 

Marty482

Well-Known Member
#38
Wastingecho,

Please don't feel so bad about yourself. You are so much more than you know.I brlieve we all have sparks of divinity within us and we are all part of a whole. we all need each other. People do need and love you. You dont know whaty your co workers feel,they might feel gtray about you,but you cant see, Feel free to PM and you are in my heart and prayers.
 

Wastingecho

Well-Known Member
#40
4 days on antibiotics - all I have to show for are the side effects - fever won't go away - can't sleep - chest and head aches from coughing

have codeine but dose is doing nothing

sick of this - sick of all of it

if I use my kit now my body won't be strong enough to last long
 
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