Breaking the cycle

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by iwant2go, May 14, 2013.

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  1. iwant2go

    iwant2go New Member

    "They said happiness is just around the corner, but there are no corners in a vicious circle"

    This quote I took from someone on this site. I saw it and I completely felt it was for myself. I feel like that, all the time. I feel good at times, but then something happens that doesn't allow me to move forward. I'm stuck, and I've been stuck for 12 years. Living this circle over and over again. Even with professional help I'm going in circles. I want to break the cycle... somehow.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    It may seem you are going in circles hun but we cannot see the small changes the do happen when we get therapy we we take medication there is a change maybe small ones at first but there is. The circle may get larger so we have more stability in parts then we use to I think to break the circle completely that is hard to get on a new path then new things have to be tried we need to go outside our comfort zone I do hope you continue with therapy and with reaching out to all supports that are there for you hugs
  3. iwant2go

    iwant2go New Member

    That's the thing, with the "therapy" and meds I step out of that comfort zone and BAM I'm here again. Those things are the ones that tell me that I can't do it. That's reinforcement. I don't control it, it just happens. And it also tells me that it has no point.

    Thank you anyway. I don't even know why I write this stuff, it's pointless...
  4. Theodora

    Theodora Well-Known Member

    If the therapy and meds give you a comfort zone then stick with them. Do I sense you hesitate about the 'therapy'? Or are you uncomfortable with the idea of needing them at all? Perhaps you're stepping too far or for too long out of the comfort zone.
  5. lelantgirl

    lelantgirl Well-Known Member

    I feel somewhat I should think how you are, pointless, round and round on the proverbial carousel and no roads ever branching off anywhere, they do appear but seems they are not for me to go down for some reason.
    I have tried meds (made me ALOT worse) and years of therapy and help (made me worse again)..................I never know what the answers are, wish I did then could tell you and we could both explore those roads together.

    I have alot of physical medical problems which make my life very hard to cope with, so everything emotional on top is extra to deal with, am grieving too which dont know how to do properly incase I go overboard and cant cope...............................DO write the stuff, it does help in some way even if we dont think it does, just telling someone else is a good, even if they cant do anything, cos means you have shared and dont have it all alone going on.
    Viscious Circle is right, but surely somehow and somewhere there is a way to break out of the circle.
    I wonder what has happened to you to be in this nasty place in life? I hate myself too, I dont like it, but seems I have to. Look after yourself and write again.
    Feel free to send me personal message too if it helps, you can just vent and get things off your chest.
  6. iwant2go

    iwant2go New Member

    I do have a "comfort zone" but I don't like it. It's where I run to to hide from the pain of being unable to step out of it. When I take my chances my mind just attacks me. I feel I'm an idiot, that I can't do it. It's a constant struggle just to do something simple. And that makes me wonder "does this have a point? why do we have to 'fight'? who are we fighting against?". Even if I fought, I know there's no end to the struggle, so it is futile to continue. I think that the people who are happy it's because they like to be fighting life all the time, don't you?
  7. Theodora

    Theodora Well-Known Member

    No I don't think anyone who is fighting life all the time is happy. Or that people who are happy like fighting life. Happiness is not a constant for anyone.
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