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Breaking the ice here

Discussion in 'Mid Life and Getting Older' started by DrownedFishOnFire, Oct 4, 2016.

  1. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Seeing is Believing Forum Pro SF Supporter

    Don't know if I am in the mid life stage or the itch to go back to school stage. Guess I am just dealing with health issues as this is a define bad year with series of misfortune that has left me a weary traveler resting the bones looking back at what I have taken for granted in my youth. Time isn't so kind to some of us, Warriors that made it this far for another day.
  2. Frances M

    Frances M Mountain Woman

    I'm in the mid-life stage I think. I also have an itch to go back to school, but I never will because I can't stand being around other people. I actually did go back to University a few times over the years, but I think I realize that I just wanted something a little new in my life. I started to paint and that scratched my itch. I lament sometimes about my youth and all the wasted years, but I think that all people have regrets, it's just part of maturing and realizing how to live our lives with what we've been given.
  3. Striking

    Striking Well-Known Member

    I'll be starting nursing prerequisites in January. I'm terrified of failure plus all the other social factors. Working with younger people will be a challenge as well if most of my co-workers are to be used as a barometer.
    alone77, BlackCatBlue, Deety and 3 others like this.
  4. Striking

    Striking Well-Known Member

    Dating is a challenge. How do I explain to all of these "got it together" women that I spent most of my life in a haze of depression and anxiety. It's embarrassing to admit that I know very few people, cannot share stories like they can, have little monetary or educational success, haven't traveled, and am confused by the dual requirements of masculinity and femininity that they all seem to want.
  5. draws

    draws Well-Known Member

    A big part of my downfall is how my body is falling apart, mostly attributed to perimenopause, but also the after-effects of breaking my ankle, almost 5 years ago now. Didn't seem like the thing that would be the end of any hope of happiness for me, but my life has been in a steep downward spiral since then. This body pain and weakness is not how I see myself at all. I don't want to accept it!
    alone77, BlackCatBlue, Kira and 3 others like this.
  6. Frances M

    Frances M Mountain Woman

    I know how you feel. I was alone for 20 years and only started dating in my mid-forties. I was terrified of anyone knowing about me. Why I was alone so long, didn't work, no family/friends, and needed to manage mental illness....but my approach was truth and honesty. I used an online dating site and I put it all in my profile, not in detail or negatively, but honestly. I'm sure it made lots of men run fast, but I was surprised how many others have experienced a lot of what I have. As for the requirements of male/female, do you mean traditional roles?
    Striking, Kira, shania and 2 others like this.
  7. Frances M

    Frances M Mountain Woman

    I'm in perimenopause too and I find my body weakening too. It's kind of startling. Making pasta yesterday, 15 minutes of kneading and I have upper back pain this morning lol...I dislocated my knee 10 years ago, and I'll tell you, I feel those after-effects daily. And the added bonus of arthritis in my hands...I don't want to accept it either!
    alone77, Kira, Wiltingone and 2 others like this.
  8. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    I'm 58 now. Not sure if that is middle aged, middle-middle aged, or late middle aged - nearly senior...yikes! lol It's a number...But, even though in my own mind I'm still young, my body reminds me from time to time I'm not. *dunno* lol
    alone77, Cody0991, Claudia UK and 5 others like this.
  9. Wiltingone

    Wiltingone Well-Known Member

    I just noticed this new forum and wondered whether I belong here or in seniors. My mind's perception tells me I'm in the right place but my body says I should definitely be in the seniors, and late stage at that. If I could turn back time ...
    alone77, Claudia UK, Kira and 3 others like this.
  10. Kira

    Kira SF Gelfling Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I'm 'middle-aged' or so my 14yr old son tells me! However, my mind is stuck in my late 20's and my body is behaving like it's in my late 60's. I'm so confused. I just don't know who I am or where I fit in. Identity crisis! I'm not sure if I need to rediscover myself or accept what I have become and move on. Either one is so scary so it's just easier to do nothing. I know that's not an option anymore though. I need to choose. ???
  11. Claudia UK

    Claudia UK Well-Known Member

    May I join the banter? ..lol Ok, I am certainly middle aged :) I am almost 52 and and like some of the members who replied on here feel" my age especially in the morning when I get up and everything snaps ,crackles and pops..lol but my mind is still young and I want to keep it that way. I guess when we reached that age we are less afraid of trying new things and still keen to learn and explore. :)
  12. MynameisPain

    MynameisPain A walking death-wish

    Well I definitely fit in here...hi all...im 53 years old...the empty nest has about killed me, I have battled depression every day of my 53 years, my first thought every morning before I even open my eyes is "m so depressed, and still here". Even as a kid I battled this. My kids have all but disowned me- im broke, health is a B- on the old school grading system. I live in one of the most beautiful places on earth but I cant see it, I can see the wind blowing the trees and branches but I cant feel it. I feel nothing- externally- neither good nor bad- I only feel hopelessness and sadness down to my soul. I have no Christmas decorations, their too painful to look at- just reminders of when my babies where with me and how they loves this time of year. Now I'm lucky if I get a phone call, I'll visit my 81 year old step mother on Christmas day but there's no connection there...she's just the closest thing to family I have now. I'm dying inside day by day. I live on caffeine and nicotine and occasionally a little weed- it helps quiet my mind. Im an old hippy that would love to find a communal living arrangement for people my age. I want to spend the rest of my life trying to do something that matters..now that I am no longer needed as a mother- which is all I ever knew from the time I was 17 until I turned 50....now im lost - wandering around in a world that is not welcome to middle aged women with mental health issues....im just so lost.
  13. Kira

    Kira SF Gelfling Staff Alumni SF Supporter


    I'm currently peri-menopausal. My internal body temperature is like a furnace! Hot flushes (flashes) sweats, trouble sleeping: hot and cold etc.

    Does anyone know of any 'natural' remedies that have worked for them? I've started some medication but it will take about 4-8 weeks to work. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

    I also suffer from migraines, so when my body overheats it brings one on. The fact that it's a hot Summer here doesn't help either! With thanks.... oxox
    DrownedFishOnFire likes this.
  14. cymbele

    cymbele SF Supporter

    Soy milk is said to have an effect in mitigating menopausal symptoms. I was drinking soy before I heard of it but my endocrinologist confirmed the rumor. i never thought I had it bad - my ex said finally I was never cold (I had hypothroidism at the time) but I really didn't feel any different. But try researching soy.
    Kira likes this.
  15. nobodyknows71

    nobodyknows71 Forum Pro SF Supporter

    I skipped straight into menopause (due to chemo). I can't take HRT due to type of cancer. My oncologist suggested evening primrose for flushes. Didn't work for me, but maybe worth a try. People have also recommended red clover and black cohosh. I haven't tried these yet as need to check with my oncologist first. Have an appointment with a menopause clinic but it's not until Feb. So I just have to put up with until then.
    Can I ask what meds you've been given??
    Kira likes this.
  16. JacsMom

    JacsMom Staff Alumni

    Hi Nobody: I'm in the exact same boat as you. Chemo put me into early menopause and couldn't take HRT because my tumour was estrogen fed. A few years later, due to highly abnormal cells, they removed the ovaries, so if they were producing anything at all, that was the end of that. I did suffer from hot flashes and night sweats, but I have to say with time, that has all ended. I hope the same for you! My oncologist wouldn't let me take anything natural, at the time. He just said they couldn't be sure of the effects.
    Kira likes this.
  17. nobodyknows71

    nobodyknows71 Forum Pro SF Supporter

    Hi JacsMom, I considered getting my ovaries removed but my oncologist thought it was a hasty. I'm now on hormone suppressants, zoladex, to keep me menopausal, as I couldn't take tamoxifen due to blood clots I'd developed during chemo. So I doubt I have any estrogen left. They tell the first three to four months are the worst (I'm only two months in). It I'm getting 15/20 flushes during the day and at least 5 every night. I know it's early days but it's quite tedious. I'm hoping they might be able to recommend something at this clinic. Fingers crossed.
    Kira likes this.
  18. Kira

    Kira SF Gelfling Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Thanks for that @cymbele! I'll give anything a go! I have an underactive thyroid but I'm on medication for that. ox
  19. Kira

    Kira SF Gelfling Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Thank you @nobodyknows71 :) I'll talk to my doctor about your suggestions. I just have to make sure that new medications of any sort don't interact with my current meds. I have to get a blood test done asap to see if there's something else causing me problems. I've had a migraine on and off for the past 9 days! I really need to find out what is going on with me!

    The medication I just started taking is called Femular. Fingers crossed with that! ox
  20. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Seeing is Believing Forum Pro SF Supporter

    @Kira75 hope the issue is getting better by now?

    Ive found by accident when I put frozen peas on lower back in the middle it just makes me feel cold all over within minutes. Now when I have my shirt off and my back exposed I feel more cooler when I'm asleep. Maybe its just a random thing that only works for me.