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Breaking the ice here

Discussion in 'Mid Life and Getting Older' started by DrownedFishOnFire, Oct 4, 2016.

  1. Kira

    Kira SF Gelfling Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Well just an update on the menopause. It's much better than it was. I still get it but not every day and not as severe! Phew, that was not fun!!!

    I hope you are all well! :)
     
  2. Claudia UK

    Claudia UK Well-Known Member

    Glad to hear you feeling better Kira :)
     
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  3. Deety

    Deety SF Supporter

    Hi @Striking I found most of the younger people in my nursing classes were very mature, empathetic, and well-rounded people for their age. How have the classes been going? Going back to University to change career was the best decision I ever made. I enjoy every day at work, and in my old career I dreaded every day and felt sick when my phone would ring. The difference in doing something you love for a job is amazing. I was still very fixated on finishing my degree when I was at my most suicidal 18 months ago (ie. I was only going to carry on being alive if I could carry on with my studies, and this was when they were trying to put me on enforced leave). Anyway I hope you are enjoying it.
     
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  4. nobodyknows71

    nobodyknows71 You know it’s sad but true... Forum Pro SF Supporter

    So glad things have settled for you :D
     
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  5. draws

    draws Well-Known Member

    I feel like someone getting a masters degree in perimenopause. It is a brutal ailment, completely different for each person. What I've learned:
    - progestin cream helps with some symptoms. I've found small doses more frequently is better.
    - I just live with waking up at night. I'm always in search of boring things to read... Always turn off the thinking because it's never good thinking.
    - the hot flashes are truly a phenomenon. Sometimes It's so hot I think my skin will burn! Holy shit it sucks in the middle of a business meeting!! But cooling off works. -I'm looking for a small handheld fan. -Have an icy cold drink nearby (easy and effective), -Always dress with a jacket that can come off. -Dress to be more cool than warm. - I'm using some essential oils to help: a dot of peppermint, and I'm getting some clary sage to try misting. -If you're ever cold, think of something stressful to trigger a hot flash!

    There are so many little things I've learned, I realize I can't write them all down.
     
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  6. Kiwi2016

    Kiwi2016 Forum Pro

    I'm middle aged as well (53)...and have gone through menopause and for me it's the nigh sweats that drive me nuts...still having those alas...sigh...
     
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  7. Kira

    Kira SF Gelfling Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    You're still having the night sweats? Oh crap! Sorry...
     
  8. Kiwi2016

    Kiwi2016 Forum Pro

    Yes it sucks...think it's a permanent thing at this point...have gel pillow, gel bed which has helped...but still....alas....
     
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  9. draws

    draws Well-Known Member

    Isn't it astounding? 50% of the human population is likely to go through this somewhat debilitating condition, and science literally doesn't even know what hot flashes are!!
     
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  10. Kiwi2016

    Kiwi2016 Forum Pro

    I've always wondered as I've had them for years...does it make sense that are worse when feeling stressed?...and don't take anything for menopause as aside from this don't seem to suffer from any of the other issues thankfully.
     
  11. Striking

    Striking Well-Known Member

    @Deety Thank you for your kind words and encouragement. I am glad you fought your way through and reached your goal.

    Unfortunately no, i have not begun classes. 2016 was a very rough year and 2017 has not started so well either. I will continue with my plan for a nursing degree in the summer if the will to do what is necessary returns.
     
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  12. Deety

    Deety SF Supporter

    @Striking Hi again, nothing wrong with delaying until you are ready to tackle it. All the best for when you decide to begin.
     
  13. Striking

    Striking Well-Known Member

    Unemployment is a real deal breaker on the dating scene. It's like a silver bullet to a werewolf's heart. Instant ghosting occurs the moment I utter the word.
     
  14. Walker

    Walker Everything Zen Staff Member Safety & Support SF Social Media SF Supporter

    I don't find "unemployment" to be the deal breaker, @Striking -- but I would find "no money for a long time" one. Are you getting unemployment? Cause I'd be ok with that if I didn't think that was someone's long term solution to their life or anything. My feeling about finding someone right in that crappy place where they happen to be unemployed has always felt like I would need to see some passion about something. Like does this person sit home and play video games all day? Do they hang around the house in PJs or boxers or the bath robe and watch TV or eat popcorn and sit on the deck? All that is fucked off.
    And though that doesn't mean they have to spend all day doing apps and fishing for jobs I gotta see something in them that says they're motivated and into living this life. Do they go to the gym every morning, scrapbook and sell them on ebay, go antique shopping for cool finds.. I don't know, whatever it is but not having a job is different from being an all out loser. YOU make your jobless situation look less shitty to those ladies, ok? Good luck.
     
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  15. Deety

    Deety SF Supporter

    Well said @walkerbait95, I meant to reply to this comment the other day too, but couldn't think of how to phrase what I was thinking. I'd much prefer to be with someone unemployed but with plans or a passion for something, than someone who worked a job they didn't enjoy and were never going to do anything about it.
     
  16. Walker

    Walker Everything Zen Staff Member Safety & Support SF Social Media SF Supporter

    I feel the same way about people on disability or whatever so it's my solid answer. I would absolutely date someone who wasn't like.. I don't know.. "employed full time" by some company. They could be self employed, starting off, on disability, riding out some unemployment, just gotten shit canned last week. It's all in how you feel about THAT PERSON and each situation is different case by case.
     
  17. IdontMatter111

    IdontMatter111 meh..............just meh

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  18. Striking

    Striking Well-Known Member

    More than traditional roles. It's the expectation that I be a "man's man" but also be sensitive and vulnerable. It is almost as if there is uncertainty about what they really want.
     
  19. Sneaze

    Sneaze Member

    wow. I feel like Im reading about myself. I am 58 and the kids are long gone. One to another country.
    Your right, the world is not welcome to middle aged women! I have little advice except to find another way to mother. Another way to care take. That is what makes the world function. See if you can volunteer somewhere that needs your help. If you like animals, try a shelter. Baby's.... call and see if you can hold sick ones at the hospital. Older people always need some support. I am not propsing this as a panacea, but it may be worth a try.

    Hang in there!
     
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