Breaking *triggering*

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by ~PinkElephants~, Feb 18, 2007.

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  1. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    Not that anyone will remotely reply to this b/c ive looked at my posts in the past..and i i dont even have to has been so low for hought last night was just gets worse...heres al etter i wrote to my dad..and it basically explains what happened....

    Dear daddy

    I'm a fuckin baby right. A fuckin 27 yer old baby like you said. YET I doe verything you ask of me. I bend over backwards for you. I clean the house, i load in wood, i do laundry, not even including mine, I do everything. Everything you ask o fme I do. I don' second guess it, I just do it. You came at me this mornjing for being up until 2am. Well newsflash, I'm 27 years old. I can do what I want! Go fuckin yell at Shaun who's 28, has a 6 yer old son and does nothing for you or for his child. GO well at him for being a shitty father but dont' you fuckin dare yoell at me for being human. I do everything for dylan as well while Shaun comes and goes as he pleases. You expect more from me, huh? How much do you expect? Do you expect me to do until I break? Do you expect me to do until I take the last step and kill myself? Will it be enough then?? Will I be a complete failure then dear daddy? Can i complete teh cycle of my fucked up useless existence then?? How bout we talk about shaun who does nothing, who just sits on his useless ass all day and plays poker, who spends all his money on cigarettes and gambling?!!! Who doesn't listen to any o your requests, who smokes inyour house even after asking him not to 1000 times before, who wouldn't lift a finger to help in this house even if we were all dying. Should I keep going?!! I could fill this whole page and more. You expect more from me because I just take and internalize it all. I let everything eat at me until I break Now lets talk about Jerry. 23 years old and an alcoholic just like mom. He walks in at 3am and doesnt hear shit from you. Hes a durnk and do you worryy about that. Do you worry that he's becoming like mom?! HUH?!! Newsflash dear daddy, STOP TREATING ME DIFFERENTLY BECAUSE IM A GIRL
  2. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Ah Kells :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
    I do wish parents wouldn't treat their daughters differently from their sons (seen it so many times).

    Sounds to me like your dad relies on you much more than he realises, you seem to have taken over your mothers' role in the house.
    Also, like you said, you do what he asks so its always easier to have a go at the child who listens than deal with the ones who stick two fingers up at ya (like your brothers do).

    Give yourself a break today, last night was a big strain and thank you so much for all the effort you put in, I don't think I could have dealt with it all without your help.
  3. LetItGo

    LetItGo Staff Alumni

    Your doing everything you can possibly do, and so much more. I think Terry is right about taking on the Mothers role in the house. Your brother needs a serious wake up call. I dont know if thats ever going to happen.

    Il try and be there for you Kells when I can :hug:
  4. Allo..

    Allo.. Well-Known Member

    :hug: I love you kel.. This is not fair.. You don't deserve this..
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