Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Malcontent, Dec 1, 2009.

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  1. Malcontent

    Malcontent Staff Alumni

    I'm beginning to think that suicide really is the only option. No matter what I do things only get worse. Plans for doing it keep popping into my head. The temptation to just disappear is huge. Why do I keep resisting it? A part of me knows nothing will ever get better and I'm a fool for carrying on hoping and trying. This is all I am, depressed and suicidal, it's all I'll ever be. I should just give in to it and end this pointless life. Whenever I hope for something I know deep down it's just a dream that'll never come true. Maybe things could've been different but I feel like I've gone too far, I've been like this for too long. I've tried so many things and yeah they help for a short while but I always end up back here staring down the barrel of a gun (metaphorically). At what point does someone become a lost cause? Wherever it is I think I past it a long time ago and I just keep holding on because I'm too stupid to see it. There's no light at the end of the tunnel, it's just in my imagination. The truth is it hurts too much, I can't go on. Whenever there's no one to see it I'm in tears. I feel like I'm reaching my limit. I cry myself to sleep every night, I wake up in the morning and I cry. There's never any rest, there's always someone wanting more and more from me than I can give and I feel like somethings gonna break soon. If I had a way of killing myself next to me right now I'd use it without hesitation.
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    What's wrong, what's getting worse? :hug:
    I don't know you well, but I know there's more to you than the depression. And I also know that you're not a lost cause.
    Here if you need anything, please try to hold on. Drop me a PM if you ever feel like talking, you don't have to go through it all alone.
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 1, 2009
  3. Tam

    Tam Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry I don't know your story, so I don't know what's brought you to feeling like this. (So no helpful but useless advice then!)

    I just want you to know that the way you are feeling now touches me, wish I could literally reach out to you, make it better, just for a moment. Failing that, I send you some virtual comfort, at least know that you've been heard.

    And if you ever feel like telling your story to someone new, I'll listen.
  4. bubblin girl

    bubblin girl Well-Known Member

    I feel the same also :(
  5. Abacus21

    Abacus21 Staff Alumni

    Just wanted to give you a few hugs, Mal ... Sadly virtual ones are all I can give :hug: :hug: Always here if you need an ear or shoulder :)
  6. *sparkle*

    *sparkle* Staff Alumni

    malbert :( :hug:

    you know im here for you and will give you a virtual :hug: - your not far from me so you can have a real :hug: if you want.

    your worth so much and things can change. lets work through this sweet? please? :hug: PM, msn etc me :arms:
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