Breath no more

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Rest_In_Pain, Apr 16, 2007.

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  1. Rest_In_Pain

    Rest_In_Pain Guest

    Hmm..I'm getting uglier each day. I used to be a bright student but now..No more. I skip classes each day just to avoid people. I got no friends. I hate God for creating with disgust. I wish I could die. I've attempted suicide numerous times, but yet I'm still alive. My heart is so pure but why me??
    I'm so broken. It's been weeks I haven't talked to anybody, I don't eat proper food. I think I'm having anorexia as well. I lost contact with my family, my appetite, my interests..Soon I guess that I'ld be expelled from my college. I'm claustrophobic, I don't have self-confidence anymore, everything about me is totally depleted. I plan to free my tormented soul, let it depart from all of the ugliness. I suck!!!Life's not worth living..
     
  2. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Ok, it sounds like you need professional help. Have you ever been to the doctor about how you feel? A lot of what you say is characteristic of depression (not saying you necessarily have it, I'm just noticing the similarities) and there is a lot that can be done to help someone with depression.

    It might be worth talking to someone at college about what is going on for you. You could put your course on hold, or get additional support, or work out a way to do stuff at home, or whatever. There is a lot of scope for help they can give you.

    You didn't just use to be bright, you still are, but something like depression can sap your motivation and drive. You have not stopped being intelligent, the intelligence is still there, it is just battling with other things.

    You might feel you are getting uglier everyday, but no one changes that much from day to day. What is it that you think is changing about you that makes you ugly?

    Hang in there
     
  3. Rest_In_Pain

    Rest_In_Pain Guest

    I feel rejected most of the time. I just don't know what I'm feeling anymore. I cry most of the time, my eyes are swollen, chapped lips, dry skin, my face..I don't even know if I'm sick or not. I feel extremely weak, having frequent loss of memory. I'm a living corpse. I feel like a total loser, I flunked my maths tests twice, I've been getting half of marks for chemistry and physics. It's an irony that my GPA last year was good but now...HELL!!!! I trust nobody and that's why I've been depressed for years especially this year. It doesn't even matter cos I'm contemplating suicide everyday and I will die sooner or later.
     
  4. Panther

    Panther Well-Known Member

    I wish people didn't go through what you are going through. It's like everything is crumbling before you and you feel crushed. I agree with Scum's post, please, please, give the doctor or some professional a go even if you are sceptical. And please hang around this forum and maybe use the chatroom where you can get to talk to people and meet people who are going through or have been through similar stuff. If you need a friend then I am here.
     
  5. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    All you are saying is so characteristic of depression.

    Do you lose anything by going to the doctors?
     
  6. Rest_In_Pain

    Rest_In_Pain Guest

    I'm sorry, I don't need 'em.
     
  7. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    What productive thing do you intend to do to make your life better then?

    I don't mean end it, that does not make LIFE better, merely take away the hope of it being better.
     
  8. Rest_In_Pain

    Rest_In_Pain Guest

    I don't know. I guess I'm just gonna go through my life and rot to death.
     
  9. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    What's the point in having a wretched time when, with a bit of work and support, you could have a happy, much more positive life?

    I'm not saying the doctors is your only option, but if you are not willing to do anything to help yourself, then you can't really expect to feel better.

    There are a fair few different options other than doctors that might help, so if you decide you want to do something to help yourself, maybe you could make a spider diagram of what your options are to help yourself.

    No one deserves to feel this bad, it's just a shame that you won't try anything to change it.

    Take care of yourself
     
  10. Panther

    Panther Well-Known Member

    But you need SOMETHING. If a doctor cannot help you, then at least talk to people here for starters. And try if you can to find other resources on the internet. The fact that you came here shows that at least you want to tell someone about how you feel. And that's a start. Even if you don't feel there's any hope. If you need to make several posts here, people ain't gonna judge you or call you an attention seeker. :hug: to you.
     
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