bridled by caution

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by nightfallagain, Sep 17, 2013.

  1. nightfallagain

    nightfallagain Well-Known Member

    Yet I, well it is truly "I" that doesn't matter. I have many loose ends right now that are causing me a bag load of questions about things and I have a chance to ask myself a few pertinent questions, but am very afraid of the answers I may receive. The problem is, there is something embarrassing and shameful that I need to admit to myself. It is best to come clean and to stop pretending. But what is it and why do I fear it? They say the moment you notice something about yourself, you have control. It is a secure person who can recognize when they are not feeling themselves and to pause when you notice this kind of imbalance...I've been pausing longer than I can remember!!! I AM NOT SECURE AND DO NOT HAVE ANY CONTROL...what the heck is wrong with me? I do not deserve to be here and why do they keep asking me to call when no one answers? And they want me to trust them? I cannot trust myself from o ne day to the next. All they do is give me scenario's that help me in setting the stage for my own suicide.
     
  2. utsu.ro

    utsu.ro Member

    i believe you do not want a reply to this thread, but oh well....
    of course you can't trust people who only tell you what you should do based on their perfect little theories. And of course it's useless talking about it with them because they're not going to understand it anyways. No one's going to listen to you because even if everyone acts ike they care - in the end they only want you to stop trying to do sth 'immoral' and go back to admireing the good persons who helped someone in need of mental support they see in the mirror.
    I can just tell it time and again. The thing that helps me is actually to transfer all the hate I feel against anything, including myself to all the other despicable creatures living in this world and do something against them.
    Like facists. I hate facists. That's why I shhow them every single tme i hear some unintelligent comment. Most of them are cowards anyways so i enjoy a success more often than not. Of course it also happens that they become aggressive and hit you but who cares? It's only you getting hurt after all. What I#m trying to say is that you musn'T concentrate on yourself to much and care more about the things going wrong around you. Or persue sth you love doing.
    Just listen to night amore... Though if you find over a great period of time, absolutely nothing you enjoy in life you might as well kill yourself. After all that makes more sense than spending the rest of your life suffering unprecedented mental pain.
    I believe this reply is as useless as anything else again....
    and please pardon me if i failed the topic completely.
     
  3. utsu.ro

    utsu.ro Member

    duble-post. my bad.