For the past, oh, six years of my life, I've wanted to just fall asleep and not wake up. All this time, I've kept going only for my mother who was slowly dying from cancer. She had cancer before I was even born in 1999. She took so many pills, lied to her doctor about things, and all in all, just gave into her own death. She died October, 2015. That was when one of my two friends, who will remain unnamed, entered the hospital for self harming. I didn't want to leave him alone, so I put off killing myself. He's out now. My other friends has repeatedly harmed her body, and will continue to do so. She has lost so fo her own family, and worries about losing me as well. She made me promise not to kill myself. But, as of late, I am growing weary of that promise. I have had two many therapists to count, been put on pills justbto be taken off of them, and no longer have an attachment to my peers, and my "family". I want somebody who can talk me out of this sh!t.