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Brilliant idea...w/ something missing

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by PandorasToybox, Nov 22, 2009.

  1. PandorasToybox

    PandorasToybox Well-Known Member

    Less than a month ago I was working on a project for our local Mental Health branch, which involved me putting together a bunch of bios into a program.
    In doing so i learned that the bios belonged to a bunch of wealthy and/or political persons.
    But the bio that caught my attention immidiately was one on a local man who lost his father to suicide. He began to create a book with pictures of those "left behind" by suicide (I use the quotes just in case people use a different word).
    While I agree it's a brilliant & beautiful idea, some of the wording kind of pissed me off, including when someone refered to suicidal people just looking to "escape their personal misery & leave others with a burden..." & "How could a life be that bad?.."
    Now usually I would say those are fair questions, but what our community fails to realize is that we lack any resources or support for mental health, much less suicide. You have to sit on a 8 month waiting list & they can't guarantee you'll get any help.
    Survivors (those left behind by suicide) have tons of support, but those of us who are drowning in "our personal misery" are expected to just stick it out & keep going because otherwise we'll be putting a damper on someone elses life, but because our lives are not as important, we should just keep going...with no help...
    Regardless. it's a neat website... leftbehindbysuicide.org
  2. Dharma4815162342

    Dharma4815162342 Well-Known Member

    It is better to prepare and prevent than to repare and repent. Sounds like thats a moto your community needs to attach itself to. Why provide support for something that is treatable and preventable? Seems sad and a bit backwards. I agree that the book seems like a really cool idea. I know thinking about the people I would leave behind has prevented me from doing anything in the past.
  3. PandorasToybox

    PandorasToybox Well-Known Member

    Agreed. I tend to think about those around me & if anything, I turn to them for support so that if I did die by suicide I would leave them knowing they did try. However they might still feel like they could have done more.
    But it's our community that needs to do something. They recently shut down our psychiatrict hospital/facility & now there is nothing left.
    I as well as every other person on this site, knows how hard, lonely, painful & draining depression/suicide can be. We get told to get help but in many cases help is either limited, crappy or non-existant.
  4. DS

    DS Account Closed

    damn. past 24 hrs this subject has been weighing me down heavily... lost several to suicide...each preventable. A couple had reached out but folks turned and walked away. The ones who didn't reach out, i think someone could have noticed...sometimes i think we trip through life looking down at our shoes...instead of chin up looking at each other...connecting...engaging with them...caring enough to be motivated to some sort of action. ...being real with each other and being, all there

    Sorry. just a wee bit melancholy.

    hell, I'm sitting here with some emails that someone had sent...fighting with everything he had within himself to find a way to live...only one other person has ever seen those emails...none of his loved ones...even after he passed, they couldn't find it within themselves to face him. i guess i can't really blame them, yet somehow can't help but feel he is still being abandoned...unheard.

    Yeah, its a nightmarish hell for those left behind...visual/auditory are hard to cope with on a daily basis. I'm feeling guilty in a way, i guess, for feeling selfish, that i just don't want anyone else to add to my nightmares--and the only answer i see, is for folks to not only address the subject, but stop staring at their blazing shoes, and take a little action. and i don't blame those i've lost, for my bloody hell, but i do blame the rest of us collectively...

    additionally lost a few others, not to suicide, but to situations that just should never have happened...and i just can't help but shake my head and wonder about the human race...and the role i play in the scheme of things...realization that it is never enough...how depressing.

  5. PandorasToybox

    PandorasToybox Well-Known Member

    What you wrote Desert, was extremely powerful, insightful & well said. You pretty sumed up lots of stuff that flies thru my mind on a daily basis.
    I truly am sympathetic for the lives lost & those left behind.
    But I hate when those who have lost their lives to suicide are frowned upon & blamed for their actions (as in the interview I mentioned).
    Like Dharma said, its better to have to prepare & prevent than to repair & repent.
    I hope you're doing alright Desert.
  6. DS

    DS Account Closed

    forgive me, my mind is not clear;
    one small lesson learned from Chris (r.i.p.) is hug people...dump the inhibitions, don't concern one's self with whether it is proper or not, just do it. One little action folks can take that has the potential to help keep someone grounded and perhaps alive, long enough to get through the moment. Hugs often work, where words fail. sometimes it's just the human conncetion.

    that being said, i crawl back into my cave with kleenex.
  7. PandorasToybox

    PandorasToybox Well-Known Member

    Not even our college takes suicide seriously. My professor said he was going to send a message to the college counsellor, because once again i've gone down hill...that was last friday...so either the counsellors laughed it off, or the professor laughed it off & never sent the e-mail...I wouldn't be surprised either way... I sometimes believe I almost need to kill myself for them to get the message, that when someone reaches out don't turn them away...
  8. DS

    DS Account Closed

    silverkoi, that breaks my heart.

    unfortunately i've seen the consequences of not taking someone seriously. R. was told to write his mom a note telling her he needed help. she ignored it. he is no longer here.

    sorry, can't handle this right now.
  9. PandorasToybox

    PandorasToybox Well-Known Member

    It is heartbreaking... but it kills me that when I reach out I never receive help.
    I keep getting told to just hang on a little longer. But it pisses me off the suicide survivors get help instantly but I have to wait, & suffer, but I can't be called a victim, but the survivors can. But I'm not allowed to end the pain as it will hurt others...what about MY pain?
    Why do THEY get help but NOT me? Why am I such a bad person? What did I do to deserve this? Why am I supposed to suffer but not the suicide survivors? Is it because depressed people aren't important?
    The hardest part is the woman who wrote it is the wife of the professor that said he would contact the counsellor & help me. He spent hours in his office with me just talking...then he pulls this pile of bullshit about helping me...
    I'm sorry but that project proves just how biased society is.
  10. DS

    DS Account Closed

    there is not always help for survivors...i know a couple suffering horribly...and alone in their pain...and were told horrible things.

    it is really difficult for those seeking help...seen it.

    shouldn't be this way.
    sorry having difficulty articulating this eve.

    heart goes out to you.you are not a bad person. folks who opted to leave are far from bad...if anything i feel like a complete failure...and it doesn't get better...so at times i think...oh well, won't go there.
  11. PandorasToybox

    PandorasToybox Well-Known Member

    Well at least here, survivors always have people reaching out to them, they get ALL the resources, but the mentally ill, forget it, we apparently aren't worth it.
    Sometimes I wonder if they shouldn't just hand us the means if they arent going to help us.