Hi people, I´m spanish so forgive me my poor english. I´m really broke. I used to have a life but now I have none. I´ve been visiting psychiatrists and psychologists since I was 16 (I´m 23) but I haven´t improved at all, I´m actually worse. 9 out of 10 of my thoughts are suicidal, and I spend my day looking for a method or a companion to kill myself. Or at least someone who simply encourages me to do so. I have absolutely no life whatsoever: no girl, no hobbies, almost no friends and my social skills have mysteriously disappeared.I can´t even go to the university because of my social fobia. I fear that I will never be able to kill myself and that makes me feel so bad, because I NeED AN EXIT to this situation. I just....my english is just not good enough to express all that I feel. In fact, I´m unable to express this in any language whatsoever. I´m sitting around waiting until I put together my forces to free myself once and for all.