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broke down in the middle of target

Discussion in 'Domestic Abuse' started by undercoverlover, May 4, 2013.

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  1. undercoverlover

    undercoverlover both dead and alive until somebody opens the box

    i cant stop thinking about my abuser
    mainly because i hate her
    and its taking up too much space in my head
    i cant just let it go.
    something i saw reminded me of her and i started panicking in the middle of a target store and couldnt breathe. she hasnt been talking to me but is posting things about me and playing the victim and it hurts even worse. id rather her just talk to me than pretend shes the victim and that i abused her and disrespected her because i never did.
    is that something that abusers do often or is it just her?
    and how do i let go and stop thinking about it?
  2. lelantgirl

    lelantgirl Well-Known Member

    People like to tur things around so it makes them feel better for bad things which they have done.
    I would say she knows what she did is wrong, and is a bully to boot as well. In order for them to cope with what they have done they often make out they are the victim, gives then some power back, some do it without realising others do it brutally cos they are bullies and like to cause evenmore hurt and distress.

    Its hard to let it go and stop thinking about it, cos even if you are not consciously thinking about bad stuff or the past and doing other things, it is all still in the mind and has habit of coming back when ever it chooses to. Alot of people think that we choose to dwell on bas stuff, but in most cases we dont, the bad just keeps coming to haunt us.
    Sometimes distraction is good as numbs it down and keeps us sane and sometimes its worse, cos at times its best to just roll with our thoughts/emotions.

    You are right, anything can trigger, like it did for you seeing something in the Target store and set you off. I have triggers when least expect it and can be very stressful and frightening cant it.

    Remember you did nothing wrong, bullies/abusers just like us to think we did and gain control.
    Take care and here if you need to talk. xx
  3. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    Yes, it sure sounds like she's a bully to cause you distress. And lelantgirl is right, they like us to think we've done wrong.

    As you control how you respond to it, you do have a power of stopping her controlling you. Might be worth thinking about anyway.
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