Broke my own damn heart - Rant.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Zirone, Apr 22, 2009.

  1. Zirone

    Zirone Well-Known Member

    I'm such an idiot!

    I've managed to screw up the one relationship i really cared about and i did it in the way i do best, flying off the handle and having a massive go at someone i care about without knowing all the facts.

    So, I flew off the handle, but i've done it in the worst way possible, by blaming her for everything, my cuts, my depression, and to top it all off i told her that she had messed me up in the head by playing mind games...

    ...I didn't mean a word of it though, it's all my fault, I've been dumped, and i can't do anything to change it except wait and see if:
    "we'll see, i'll have a think about whether i want you back"
    actually comes to anything, I've told her how sorry i am, I've told her i love her more than anything, all i can do is wait and see if i haven't screwed this up permanantly...

  2. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    aw....i'm so sorry ....

    what a hurtful situation.

    and waiting to see 'IF' . . . i'm so sad for you.

    we all fly off the handle at times, we all have our moments, and our ugly selves sometimes come to the surface. i hope things work out for you , and i hope you can lean on us and get support
    you apologized, so dont' beat yourself up too badly.

    pm if you want to talk. . . :console:
  3. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    We all get angry and say things we don't mean. At least you apologized. Try not to be too hard on yourself; you've done all you can.

    I really hope she gives you another chance!
  4. Zirone

    Zirone Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the kind words :)

    So it's the day after the breakup...

    She's still talking to me via texts, all i want to do is tell her that i miss her and i love her more than anything, but i'm scared that i will get ignored or something.

    I don't know what i'm going to do if this all gets worse, i felt like killing myself yesterday, i feel like doing it today, but the thought of her taking me back keeps me holding on, it feels like false hope. :cry2:
  5. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    I know waiting can be the hardest part, but you have to give her some time. Don't expect her to make any sort of decision right away.
  6. Remedy

    Remedy Chat & Forum Buddy

    Speaking as a girl, you're doing the right thing by not sending her lots of 'I miss you' texts. Do you know the reason she broke up with you?
    She may just have needed some space. Just show you're still there for her, all you can do is your best. :hug:
  7. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    You could always get a therapist to work on your anger issues.. This will show her you are trying to change for the better..When you get angry the best thing to do is walk away until you get a little more level headed..
  8. Remedy

    Remedy Chat & Forum Buddy

    Oh sorry! You stated the reason she did... Maybe send her an email explaining that things got too much and you didn't mean to take it out on her, and you hope you can still be friends at least? She might be angry about it now, but she'll cool off. I hope things work out for you. :hug:
  9. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    I hope things work out for you. Hopefully this time and space that she has, she'll be able to see that you didn't mean those things.
  10. Zirone

    Zirone Well-Known Member

    Why the hell do things keep getting worse?

    She said she wanted me BACK and now look what happens! :mad:

    Now she's gone off and plastered fucking everywhere on her msn that i'm trying to play some game to try and get her back, its ridiculous, i mean yeah, i might have flirted a little bit but how can i not when it feels like nothing has changed between us?!

    Ugh! I'm a moron for trying but i still do it, and i now feel lower than dirt.

    I've explained all i can, that i love her, she means the world to me, that i'm even resisting cutting for her! yet it just seems like nothing is going to change, and i'm gonna be hanging on forever, knowing my current state i will until it destroys me....:dry:
  11. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Sorry to hear that things aren't going so well. Maybe just back off completely from her, so give her a week or soo. But I guess this might back fire and she might just say you never tried to get her back? Which you have though.

    The thing is that, you have done what you can. Just let her have her own space.