Hi, I will never be the same again. I am a teenager who lives a life of boredom and intense isolation. One by one, the people I knew have all dissappeared from my life, even though I do meet some occasionally. Seems a normal problem? Not at all, I don't want to see them or talk to them ultimately. I want to be left alone, myself, no one else, in peace. I spend my life looking at the past, and I don't want to. Every single day is the same pain I bear. All the happiness I express if any is a false pretence. Now this is where it changes for the worse. I want to shun my parents, my family, my relatives, my friends; everyone. My past is quite odd. I have seen pain, and I have felt pain, I have seen happiness, and felt happy at the same time, and for the past 6 years I have changed dramatically. And I will try to put it as simple as I can, I want to hurt so many people the way I am, and this starts with my hopeless parents. I was known as a weird kid, and the people I use to know still remember me, but I don't want them to. I loathe them all, I can't stand them, and I would never have felt this way a decade ago. My mind kills me every single day, I want to brutally murder so many people, but I won't allow that and regret it later. Instead, I will do it to myself. There just isn't a thing worth living for. Everything I do is utterly pointless. Is this what existence is? Every thing I cherished and though would prolong forever has faded away, and I dread every thing that happens. Every night I want to sleep well knowing that I have value, but on the contrary I hate what the future holds. All that is good has to stop doesn't it? My disgraceful life epitomises everything wrong on this horrible little planet. People make me vomit. I wouldn't go near anyone and talk solely because I know what they'll say and I detest everyone. Contacting people is the worse thing. I want this to stop before it's too late, and as I write this, I am in deep pain. I can't express it literally, I am in agony. It wasn't always like this, but let's just say it has got worse. Now I'm close to the edge. Sooner I'm off this earth the better, rot.