Broken dreams, irreparable, death waits in her dark, golden, pure

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by DrivEthermissIon, Nov 7, 2009.

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  1. DrivEthermissIon

    DrivEthermissIon Banned Member

    I'll stay a little while for the support, some have offered it. I'm going to cut myself a bit and go to bed, I've been laughing due to shock (of finding out it was unrequited love) as I'm sensitised to pain and shock. Think I'll lose my mind if this keeps up ^__^ . Check the relationship section guys.

    No actually I can't stay, though the guy who responded first, I think someone named Alex, was very sweet. You know those defining moments that happen to some people, like they watch their children being raped in the same room while they scream and beg in vain, or in Africa a tribe wipes out your family very messily, I mean you might think it's not that bad but I'm in a dungeon guys, there's not much light in a dungeon...

    It's much more than mental illness, or physical disease, or sin. It's the horror of knowing you're in a desert without water, and there thou shalt be, forever and ever, as you watch loved ones fade and friends die, eventually you realise - it's not worth it. It never fucking was.

    I didn't want anything, I didn't want to see her face ^__^ I didn't want much, I just wanted someone to love me ;__;. The amount of beauty I shared with her, all the songs, all the poetry and wonder, I thought she was perfect, but she's not.

    No-one is. I don't know what is going to happen to my music channel, I don't know what will become of me, or my life. I will say though, I've done good in the world, haven't I? ^__^ *cries* I like losing, I'm a masochist - meaning I enjoy being torn to pieces, it's soothing to me, tho eventually, you pay, dearly.

    Surely you guys know my history by now. I have nothing, I always had nothing. Just dreams. Sweet dreams. For whatever I did, to deserve this fate, I'm sorry, I'm SO sorry, I'll do anything you want just please forgive me for whatever sin it is, I'm so sorry *weeps bitterly* I'm so sorry, I know I'm bad, but listen I'll do anything, I'll amputate my fingers if you want, just please forgive me, and forgive me for what I'm about to do! The tears are falling. MSN - DrivEthermissIon@hotmail.com
     
  2. Tim.

    Tim. SF Emoti-King

    Sorry to see you down again. It's pretty hard to keep up with you actually, it just seems like you take everything to heart, good or bad, and then some. That's gotta be tough.

    Try not to hurt yourself. You don't deserve that. You don't need to be sorry.

    I hope you can find a better resolution to this than where you are right now. Maybe that means talking to this girl again, or maybe it means getting over it. I don't know.

    Hope for the best though... maybe a very happy post in the near future.
     
  3. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

  4. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    :hug: Here if you need anything.
     
  5. lapazyelamor

    lapazyelamor Well-Known Member

    hey brother you know i go exactly the same feeling i live alone in a dark dungeon that i fear will never end, im in the same black hole just as @#$@#$ up as you if not worse , just thought id let you know that and im the same with woman as well ;) try to get them to fall in love with your mind but i guess the place that we come from is a hard place to understand for a lot of people, keep trying for some reason i do
     
  6. DrivEthermissIon

    DrivEthermissIon Banned Member

    This thread is redundant guys. I'm not reading replies.
     
  7. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Since the OP stated that he isn't reading replies, I saw no reason for the thread to remain open, so I closed it.
     
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