Broken Dreams...

I've been in a whirlwind lately and I can't find my place. I feel like there's just no where to run anymore. I'm tired. I can't do anything and I can't do anything right. It hurts and it's hurting someone I love dearly. I moved to Texas not too long ago and just couldn't do it. I missed New Jersey wayyyy too much, so I moved home with my mom. My best friend came back with me. But now, neither of us have jobs, both of us are miserable, and neither of us can do school. I tried and failed. But I have also tried my shot at the only dream I've had since I was a kid... I just wanna be in a band. And of course, the universe put yet another obstacle in my way. I just can't do what I want to it seems and I can't find the things to better myself. It's just too hard and it's too hard to watch my friend go down with me. I can't do a lot of things... and as hard as I try, I fail. For once, I'd like to belong. For once, I would like to do all of the things I love and still be happy with what I do and where my situation takes me. I just feel so out of control and like I just don't belong. I want a way out... but I have no guts to do anything. I'm so numb. I'm hollow.

Please don't take this as a "oh, you just want attention. blah blah blah" I don't want sympathy, I don't want attention. I just need help. I don't know what to do and I'm scared of myself. I'm afraid of staying locked away in my own mind. I just wish there was something I could excel at and loved...

 

Don't feel alone. I keep trying to get back into school but keep dropping my classes. It hurts to keep failing when your trying to succeed. The only thing I think we can do is keep trying till we succeed. I'm sorry to hear you and your friend are both not doing good but maybe you can try school in another semester or so.

I know what it's like to be afraid of your own mind in a way. Sometimes I feel like I'm on the edge and I don't want to snap. I don't want to snap at anyone close to me. I just want to get through life. The only thing we can try to do is just try our best to control our feelings and not let them get out of control.

Life is hard, I hope you feel better, if you get anything out of this just know your not alone because I am struggling with life too. Try not to be afraid of yourself. I know how it feels, but I find having someone to talk to helps alot. If you ever want to talk feel free to pm me.

 

A quitter never wins and a winner never quits. If you want to be in a band. Start one up, or try and join one. You have to be passionate about what you want to be. If you are not passionate. Then you won't succeed. Stop thinking about why you are failing and start thinking about how to succeed.