I've been in a whirlwind lately and I can't find my place. I feel like there's just no where to run anymore. I'm tired. I can't do anything and I can't do anything right. It hurts and it's hurting someone I love dearly. I moved to Texas not too long ago and just couldn't do it. I missed New Jersey wayyyy too much, so I moved home with my mom. My best friend came back with me. But now, neither of us have jobs, both of us are miserable, and neither of us can do school. I tried and failed. But I have also tried my shot at the only dream I've had since I was a kid... I just wanna be in a band. And of course, the universe put yet another obstacle in my way. I just can't do what I want to it seems and I can't find the things to better myself. It's just too hard and it's too hard to watch my friend go down with me. I can't do a lot of things... and as hard as I try, I fail. For once, I'd like to belong. For once, I would like to do all of the things I love and still be happy with what I do and where my situation takes me. I just feel so out of control and like I just don't belong. I want a way out... but I have no guts to do anything. I'm so numb. I'm hollow.
Please don't take this as a "oh, you just want attention. blah blah blah" I don't want sympathy, I don't want attention. I just need help. I don't know what to do and I'm scared of myself. I'm afraid of staying locked away in my own mind. I just wish there was something I could excel at and loved...
Please don't take this as a "oh, you just want attention. blah blah blah" I don't want sympathy, I don't want attention. I just need help. I don't know what to do and I'm scared of myself. I'm afraid of staying locked away in my own mind. I just wish there was something I could excel at and loved...