Broken Heart

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by NinjaSwan, Jul 5, 2011.

  1. NinjaSwan

    NinjaSwan Active Member

    Thank ya to everyone who takes the time to read this :)

    I doubt this will be very long, but I feel there are some things I just wanna get off my chest.

    I guess you could say my first love just dumped me. It was... unexpected, to say the least. We were together for about a year. We were really in love, or at least I thought we were. She was absolutely crazy about me. Her actions and words said it all, I thought. She was so kind, so caring, and was really the best friend I've ever had. Every day she would say how much she loved me and believed in me, how she would be there for me no matter what happens. I was so close to her, closer than I ever believed I could be with anyone. We were friends, partners, and always had each others backs no matter what. She was always there for me whenever I needed her.

    For a little bit of background info, I have been dealing with depression for about 5 years now. After lots of trial and error, I believe I have finally found the combination of meds and knowledge needed to cope with it at a level where I can function. The depression did come into the relationship at times, but I never believed it was something that would have doomed it. We talked and tried to work out our problems together.

    I thought everything was going well. I was really starting to get to know her family, and I felt stronger for her than ever. I lost my virginity to her, something that we talked about and decided to do after quite a while. She made me feel so loved, and I tried to treat her with the most respect and love I could, something she said no one had ever really done for her before.

    Then, maybe two weeks after we had sex for the first time, she started acting strange. More distant, didn't seem to want to see me as much, didn't want to talk, not much of anything. It was quite sudden, because just before the mood shift she was telling me how wonderful I am, how she was so glad to have me in her life, and how much she loved me. I tried to figure out and gently ask her what was wrong, but she insisted everything was fine. I just thought she was having a bad week and needed a little more space, so I gave it to her and tried to be supportive.

    Not even a week after she started acting different, she ended it. She didn't really give me any good reason, just said she didn't think it was best for the moment. I was completely stunned. Just a week before everything was great. She seemed so happy with me and the relationship. and then boom. It was gone. Just like that. She said she still wanted to be friends, but I told her no. I couldn't just go from being her lover to just another friend. None of it made any sense to me. That was a month ago today.

    Recently, I sent her a letter explaining my feelings and telling her I still love her no matter what, and that I would respect her decision to leave me. I didn't beg her to come back or anything. She ignored the letter at first, but I wanted at least some kind of closure, and called leaving her a voice mail asking to talk to me so we can talk about what happened. She sent me a text right after, saying that she just didn't know what to say. I asked her straight up for the reason, and she said she never really loved me. She got bored and had stopped liking me.

    I'm still stunned at that. I cannot explain how close we were and how much she stated and showed that she loved and cared for me and would always be here whenever I needed her. She was my best friend. We were so damn close. And then suddenly she decided she was bored with me and didn't want me in her life anymore. After all we had together and all we said. She just disappeared, giving me a almost heartless goodbye, stating that she never loved me and wanted me gone. I just don't understand it. I can't. I've removed every picture, every present she gave me, blocked her phone number, and blocked her facebook in an effort to move on. I just feel so betrayed and hurt. How she can leave me and move on like I was nothing to her. It feels like a dream very bad dream.
  2. The Unforgiven

    The Unforgiven Well-Known Member

    idk.. that sounds really odd.. its an awful thing to consider, but have you tried finding out if she was seeing someone on the side? because it seems like such an unnaturally abrupt way to act otherwise.. and its not your fault in any way, im sorry but i cant see anything which makes her decision to end it be your fault in any possible way.. :sad: :console:
  3. The Scream

    The Scream Well-Known Member

    are you sure she's straight?
  4. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    Really sorry to hear that. I don't have much advice I can offer but I hope you manage to get through this and move on and everybody here is here for you if you need us. :hug:
    I have to ask the same questions as the other two though.. are you sure she's straight (given how soon after this all was from you sleeping together) and is there a possibility that perhaps a third person was involved?
  5. xXWhateverItTakesXx

    xXWhateverItTakesXx Forum Buddy

    I am sorry that you have had your heart broken in such a cruel way.

    It's not fair that she just left you like that. I don't really know what advice to offer apart from to try and move on and that some people in this world and so very mean and spiteful.

    Take care :hug: xx
  6. justMe7

    justMe7 Well-Known Member

    Well, I dont particularly believe you say you love someone and get that close, and come off with a response that you never loved them and were bored. Tbh I wouldnt take that to heart. She may have convinced herself now that this is the case but I doubt that was the case when you two were together.

    Whatever the reason(S), remember the good times and try your best to not let this split harm who you are. I mean like clouding your feelings and any part of who you are. She might want to be a dick about it, but i reckon this is her way of closure and it's just plain bad.

    About the straight question? If she hadnt experienced sex before maybe, but I gather she has so.. idk, you could try looking into that, but I wouldnt.

    Sorry youre feeling this way. I know it feels bad, but things will get better. :)