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broken hearted...i fuck everything up

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by impulse617, May 2, 2010.

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  1. impulse617

    impulse617 Well-Known Member

    Wow it seems that my one true talent is fucking things up lol....I don't even know what to do with myself, I just wanna scream. I'm in so much pain.....the one girl who I rly had feelings for and who makes me so happy, I just totally messed things up. I know she felt the same way at one point....I just knew it wouldn't last, she was to good to be true. Now all I wanna do is cry, I don't even think she knows how crazy I am about her, if she did it probably wouldn't matter

    If things went good, it could of potentially went a long way it helping me with my depression.....instead, here I am just wanting to die more then anything. I can't take the pain, I'm sick of fucking things up, I just don't think i belong here, I can't be happy here....
  2. carekitty

    carekitty Guest

    If you have any doubt if this gal knows how you feel, why not tell her? If she doesn't feel the same, at least you'll know for sure.

    I know it feels sometimes like if we just had a certain relationship, or job work out for us, that the depression would end. But that doesn't always happen. In the long run, we need to find a way out of the depression, and then whatever love we find outside, or careers we like, etc., are the icing on the cake.

    Would talking to a therapist help, or is that something you have already done?

    I hope you find some happiness in your life. And you do belong here. :hug:
  3. impulse617

    impulse617 Well-Known Member


    I talk to a therapist right now, she's nice but it doesn't seem to be helping....and I knew this would never totally end my depression but it sure seemed like it would help my life start to go in the right direction. Like I said, I just knew she was to good to be true, I should of never even gotten my hopes up.

    Thanks for your response, im not sure if its gonna be enough to save me but i appreciate it
  4. myrobotfriend

    myrobotfriend Member

    Romance can't fix depression but for momentarily. There's a quote from a song I like that goes "Love without pain isn't really romance." My english teacher also once said "You can't love others until you can love yourself". Romantic love is painful, sometimes even when things are going well. It is not for the faint of heart, and when you're feeling faint of heart it will only destroy you.

    Does that make any sense? Maybe the kind of love you need right now is not from someone who could break your heart, who could stay or go, who you're not sure about, but an unconditional love that you can rely on.

    When my girlfriend broke up with me, I got a kitten. My friend's cat had had them and they needed homes. And its weird to say but she helped a lot. We bonded and she loves me unconditionally. When she is around the house is never empty. Looking to friends can be helpful if you have them too.. Or spending time with the family you like, if you have any.
  5. ASkylitDrive

    ASkylitDrive Well-Known Member

    I don't think you messed things up. This is all paranoia and doubt.
    If she had the same feelings, she probably still does. Its hard to get rid of your feelings for someone..
    If you need anything just send me a message.
  6. carekitty

    carekitty Guest

    It's not wrong for us to get our hopes up. We need hope, it is what makes us get through one more day.

    If this relationship doesn't work out, it sure doesn't mean that there won't be others. Right now, you need to work on the depression. If the therapist you are seeing isn't helping, maybe try someone new, or a different type of therapy. Do whatever you need to do to take care of you, okay?
  7. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    :hug: I hear you man. The girl I really liked is now gone as well. She went to another... for no good reason of course. So I can relate, when I found out she was going away I wanted to just go jump off a bridge or hang myself.

    Hang in there the pain will heal with time. I am going through the same thing. PM me if you want a kindred spirit to talk/vent with.
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