i love him so much. i gave him everything. i gave him my whole heart, my time, my energy, even money. he was always there for me. he told me he fell in love... guess he never did. hearing him say "i'm not in love with you" was like a knife to the heart. it was worse him telling me i'm the best girl ever, such a valuable person, the only girl to have ever treated him so well... so why did he do this to me? why does he not love me? i can't do anything to get him off my mind. i can't go to work. i can't focus. there is nothing in this world that will ease the pain. this is the most terrible pain i have ever felt. and i want to hurt myself so badly.. i want to slash my wrists, pull my hair, bash my head into the wall. i can't let go of this.