broken

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by jane doe, Jan 16, 2007.

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  1. jane doe

    jane doe Well-Known Member

    i´m a broken soul wondering around darkness looking for support where i shouldn´t, looking for friends when i lost the ones i had, all bebecause of this addiction, this habit driving myself crazy. hurting myself and i shouldnt do it because i´m braking the promess i made to my bf of not doing it again. crying just for making a little cut, i´ve got tire, i hurted myself again. i did a bigone last night and i don´t know what am i going to do tonight
     
  2. jane doe

    jane doe Well-Known Member

    and beside i´m about to lose my best friend, how can i go on?why can´t i die. F@ck everything
     
  3. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Aw Jane, sounds like things are so tough.

    Do you have any professional support to help you deal with the pain that you feel?

    Could you maybe talk to your b/f about how you feel? Maybe explain that it is not realistic to make a promise like that and explain that you needx to stop when you are ready?

    Hang in there and feel free to PM me if you want to talk
     
  4. willgethere

    willgethere Well-Known Member

    (((((hugs)))))))
    It sounds like a real dark place you are in at the moment.

    Does your b/f understand about SH?

    if not, maybe he couls read some of this, it might just make it a little easier for him to cope if he understands

    Self-harm is a way of dealing with very strong emotions. For some people it gives the relief that crying may provide for the rest of us.

    Some self-harming people feel so angry and aggressive they can't control their emotions. They become afraid that they may hurt someone, so they turn their aggression inwards to get relief.

    People who self-harm are often labelled as 'attention seeking'. However, a person who self-harms may believe this is the only way to communicate their distress, and self-harm can be a hidden problem that goes on for years.

    It may start as a spur-of-the-moment outlet for anger and frustration (such as punching a wall) and then develop into a major way of coping with stress that, because it remains hidden, generates more stress.

    The severity of self-harm doesn't depend on the severity of a person's underlying problems. Usually, as time passes, the person who is self-harming becomes more accustomed to the pain they inflict on themselves and so has harm themselves more severely to get the same level of relief.

    This spiral can lead to permanent injury and serious infections.

    Types of self-harm
    The most common forms are cutting the arms, hands and legs, and less commonly the face, abdomen, breasts and even genitals. Some people burn or scald themselves, others inflict blows on their bodies, or bang themselves against something.

    Other forms of self-harm include scratching, picking, biting, scraping and occasionally inserting sharp objects under the skin or into body orifices, and swallowing sharp objects or harmful substances.

    Common forms of self-injury that rarely reach medical attention include people pulling out their own hair and eyelashes, and scrubbing themselves so hard they break the skin (sometimes using cleaners such as bleach).

    How common is it?
    About ten per cent of admissions to UK medical wards are as a result of self-harm. Women are at the most risk of self-harming between the ages of 15 and 19; men, between 20 and 24. Women have higher rates of self-harm than men.

    Methods of self-harm vary, but the majority of hospital admissions are for drug overdoses - only five to 15 per cent are caused by cutting.

    These figures probably hide another group of people who regularly self-harm to relieve stress. These people have usually found ways to keep their problem hidden and, when they do harm themselves badly enough to need treatment, will often have a story prepared, or will not seek help at all. The result can be permanent disfigurement or a serious infection.

    About half the men admitted to hospital for self-harm and a quarter of women have drunk alcohol in the hours beforehand. This is a very worrying figure. A person who has taken a drug overdose runs the risk of the drugs interacting with the alcohol. Both tcould become more potent when mixed, with tragic consequences.

    Self-harm paradox
    It's important to make a distinction between self-harm and attempted suicide, though people who self-mutilate often go on to attempt suicide.

    In the case of attempted suicide (most usually by swallowing pills) the harm caused is uncertain and basically invisible. By contrast, in self-harm by cutting, the degree of harm is clear, predictable and often highly visible.

    Many people indulge in behaviour that's harmful to themselves, such as smoking or drinking to excess. But people don't smoke to damage themselves - harm is an unfortunate side-effect. The reason they smoke is for pleasure. Yet people who cut themselves intend to hurt themselves.

    You're not alone
    If you self-harm as a way of coping with stressful or difficult feelings, such as anger, frustration or worthlessness, the important thing to realise is that you're not alone. Many people do this and come through it. There is help out there.

    The kind of personal exploration needed to resolve these issues is often best done with a mental health professional or counsellor. But this doesn't mean that people who self-harm can't take some control of their situation.

    Self-help
    Most people who self-harm want to stop hurting themselves and they can do this by trying to develop new ways of coping and communicating. However, some people feel a need not only to change their behaviour but also to understand why they have resorted to harming themselves.

    There are a number of techniques that can reduce the risk of serious injury or minimise the harm caused by self-inflicted injury. This list is not exhaustive - different people find different things useful in various situations. So if one doesn't work, try another.

    stop and try to work out what would have to change to make you no longer feel like hurting yourself
    count down from ten (nine, eight, seven)
    point out five things, one for each sense, in your surroundings to bring your attention on to the present
    breathe slowly - in through the nose and out through the mouth.


    If you still feel like cutting, try:

    marking yourself with a red water-soluble felt-tip pen instead of cutting
    a punch bag to vent the anger and frustration
    plunging your hands into a bowl of ice cubes (not for too long, though)
    rubbing ice where you'd otherwise cut yourself


    Support sources
    If you're nervous about seeking professional help and wish to remain anonymous it may be a good idea to contact the Samaritans or the National Self-Harm Network (see below).

    Bristol Crisis Service for Women
    Email: bcsw@btconnect.com
    Website: www.users.zetnet.co.uk/bcsw


    National Self-Harm Network
    Email: info@nshn.co.uk
    Website: www.nshn.co.uk


    Professional help
    Self-harm is almost always a symptom of another underlying problem. While the problem can be addressed directly through behavioural and stress-management techniques, it may also be necessary to look at and treat other problems. This could involve anything from medication to psychodynamic therapy.

    Most local mental health teams are prepared to see and assess people who self-harm but, where the underlying problems are too complex, may decide to refer the patient to more specialist services.

    Specialist treatment
    Of all disturbing patient behaviours, self-mutilation is often described as the most difficult for clinicians to understand and treat. Typically, staff are left feeling a combination of helplessness, horror, guilt, fury and sadness.

    There are very few units in the health service where staff have the necessary training and experience to allow them to confront and manage such seemingly bizarre behaviour. Hence, the crisis recovery unit at London's Bethlem Royal Hospital is almost unique in the UK, offering a specialist service for those who suffer from self-injury.

    Self-harm theories
    A lot of people say they start self-harming behaviour in childhood, disguising scratches and bumps as accidents and progressing to more systematic cutting and burning in adolescence.

    There are different theories as to why people self-mutilate. One is that because victims of childhood sexual abuse were forbidden to reveal the truth about their abuse, they use self-mutilation or self-cutting to express the horror of their abuse to the world.

    Another theory is that sexual abuse in early childhood leads to extremely low self-esteem. If very low self-esteem develops, self-harm as an expression of self-hatred is understandable.

    One research finding is that self-harmers tend to grow up in an 'invalidating environment' - one where the communication of private experiences is met with unreliable, inappropriate or extreme responses. As a result, expressing private experiences is not validated, instead it's trivialised or punished.

    The problem with these theories is that (in the case of the sexual abuse theory, for example) not everyone who's been sexually abused starts to self-harm, and not everyone who self-harms has been sexually abused.

    Another theory for self-cutting is that it triggers release of the body's natural opiate-like chemicals to reduce the pain. Perhaps self-cutters have become addicted to their body's heroin-like reaction to cutting, which is why they do it again and again. They may also experience withdrawal if they haven't done it for a while.

    Drugs used to treat heroin addicts may behelpful with self-cutters, but mostly for those who describe a 'high' after they've cut themselves.

    Another theory, which in-patient units often use, is based on the psychological principle that all behaviour has consequences that are somehow rewarding. Cutting usually leads to a sequence of behaviour - increased attention, for example - that may become the rewarding reason to repeat the behaviour.

    Staff in specialist units are specially trained to ensure that no consequences follow from an episode of cutting that could be rewarding. Instead, when the patient stops cutting themselves they're rewarded with increased attention from staff.

    Under inexperienced care, a complicated situation can evolve where staff come to be blamed for the 'patient not getting better' and so subtly take on responsibility for the self-cutting, therefore releasing the patient from accepting their own role in the cause of their problems.

    Self-harm culture
    It's essential that self-harm is destigmatised so that people can seek help early on. Modifying our bodies is part of contemporary culture, for example piercing, cosmetic surgery (breast enhancement and nose jobs), hair removal, skin bleaching, hair straightening and tattooing.
     
  5. lostcat95

    lostcat95 Guest

    That is the worst feeling in the world...
     
  6. jane doe

    jane doe Well-Known Member

    wow that was really interesting, really. i´ve been hurting myself for about 4 years, but this year has been the hardest. i just feel i need it like heroin addicts, and sometimes my hands start shaking and i cry for no reason. I don´t have any interest of stop doing it for myself, i want to stop for my bf because he told me thatit hurts him when i do it. and for worse, i´ve got a new job today, i´ts a really great company(an us company) and is a great job opportunity not only for the money, but for the experience and the enviroment, it´s so nice. besides is a night shift work and i really like that, but my father didn´t like it and he told me that he don´t want me there, he didn´t considerate what i want, he told me that i can work for a month there and ask for another shift, but i don´t want another shift. he become more anry when i told him that my day free is on tuesday and not in sunday, like in normal jobs here, and i felt i disapointed him.i wanted to start college this year, but i failed on a test and i couldn´t get in, and now i decided i don´t want to go to college this year because i want to be an english spanish traducer and i know the´ll hate that, so i´m under a big tension right now and i don´t know what else to do.. i feel so lost and dissapointed of myself
     
  7. Lost Disciple

    Lost Disciple Well-Known Member

    Not that this will mean much, but I feel for you Jane Doe. I think you need to just go with what you want and leave everyone else's opinions on the side.

    Like I said, that probably doesn't mean much, as everyone says that...
     
  8. jane doe

    jane doe Well-Known Member

    i know but while i live with him i must follow the house rules and i can afford to live somewhere else now
     
  9. Lost Disciple

    Lost Disciple Well-Known Member

    Oh. Sorry.
     
  10. jane doe

    jane doe Well-Known Member

    thank you anyway, for listen to me and try to help me, it always help me so thanks
     
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