I am broken. You can't fix me now. It has gone much too far. I don't want to live anymore. I don't want to go on. Tonight, I am attempting again. It should work. But I just have to make sure no one finds me. I leave the house in the dead of night and go crawl in to a corner somewhere. I don't want my family to find my dead body. I am going to go about it differently. It should be quick. Just hope that no one sees me. Perhaps a Friday night when people are coming back from a night out isn't the best. But if I can get to where I need to get to when no one is around then it will work. Don't tell me to go to hospital, or call an ambulance. I have made my decision. I made my decision long a go. Crisis Team are a waste of time as they can't do anything when I am as stubborn as I am. I wont tell them anything. I know I am taking a big risk. If this doesn't work I think it will end up with me being sectioned. That is why i have to make sure it will work. I will not go in to hospital. That is why I have to make sure tonight works.