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Brokenhearted

A_J_R

Well-Known Member
#1
I've been nursing a broken heart for some time now, but the last week or so has been really difficult.

I think I made a mistake shutting out my ex, because I miss him so much. But he was lying and was seeing another woman (and was married). I thought I was standing up for myself, but he left a void I just can't seem to fill. And time hasn't made it better.

Maybe someone can tell me it will be alright? I feel silly, but I don't have anywhere else to go with this.

Thank you.
 

EmB

Absolute Peach!
#2
It will be alright; there is so much pain in losing someone, regardless of who they are. You are grieving now; let yourself grieve. Things will be okay.

Sending hugs
 

A_J_R

Well-Known Member
#3
It will be alright; there is so much pain in losing someone, regardless of who they are. You are grieving now; let yourself grieve. Things will be okay.

Sending hugs
Thank you. It's been such a long journey. There are just days where I still feel so lost.

Thank you again.
 

A_J_R

Well-Known Member
#5
Hi @A_J_R

It will be ok! Doing the right things for yourself in the long term definitely doesn't make it easier in the short term. in the time in between- be nice to you.
Thank you. It was one of the toughest decisions I've ever made. At the time it felt right. This part where I live without them has me questioning all kinds of things. It's so hard. Thank you again.
 

A_J_R

Well-Known Member
#6
My ex deleted one of his social media accounts. I was locked out of it, but I found a lot of comfort seeing that it was there, and I have a public account, so I dreamed he'd sometimes stop by my page and look in on me. Now, he's gone.

I'm crestfallen and I feel stupid. I think he cared about his ex more than me. If anything, he deleted the account to avoid contact with her, possibly because it hurts him. I'm such a fool. My heart... I used to think being sensitive was a good thing. But it just means you get run over all the time, and no one cares. You're never on anyone's mind unless they need something you. And then they go away again.

I risked EVERYTHING to be with him. To be in his life, and to love him. And I got nothing in return. Nothing. Not once did he ever say he cared for me. When he tried to reconcile after our initial breakup (the one before we decided not to speak again), what I got was, "I thought it would be nice to be friends." Nice.

Anyway, don't mean to dump this on anyone, but I'm so full of these big and scary feelings. I have nowhere to go with them. I'm so sorry. I'm typing through tears. I'm not myself. I need to either get used to feeling like this or I have to make a decision about checking out. Even if not physically, but emotionally. I can't take this pain anymore. I just can't.
 
#7
@A_J_R
you are in the right place to share/vent. you, in time, will begin to return to things you can enjoy. This pandemic makes every hurt multiply. Its just harder right now.
you can get through this.
🙂
 

Dante

In the SF doghouse with Burt
SF Pro
SF Supporter
#8
What you're feeling is a type of mourning, you are mourning the relationship you had and the man you thought he was, when he betrayed you it was like he killed both of them and replaced them with the cheating bastard he is. He isnt the man you miss. You need to be strong.
 

A_J_R

Well-Known Member
#9
@A_J_R
you are in the right place to share/vent. you, in time, will begin to return to things you can enjoy. This pandemic makes every hurt multiply. Its just harder right now.
you can get through this.
🙂
I agree, the last year of uncertainty and the general climate of the world hasn't given room for working on personal issues, and yes, it has made some things worse. Trying to weather the storm. It's hard. Thank you.
 

A_J_R

Well-Known Member
#10
What you're feeling is a type of mourning, you are mourning the relationship you had and the man you thought he was, when he betrayed you it was like he killed both of them and replaced them with the cheating bastard he is. He isnt the man you miss. You need to be strong.
Thank you. There's some truth here, in that when I met him... I was like meeting the man I'd been dreaming about. And I'm sure some of that was a projection of my desires and needs. So, to have him show interest in me was unbelievable. But I don't know what was coming from a good place and what wasn't. And it's all mixed up and hurts so badly. I just want it to stop. I'm trying so hard to be strong. Thank you again.
 

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