Bullying: An explanation.

Discussion in 'Bullying and Violence' started by hecte, Dec 4, 2007.

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  1. hecte

    hecte Active Member

    I see alot of posts asking why me? Or Why bully at all? There is a simple explanation to both of these questions you may not like it but its obvious and undeniable.

    People are animalistic in nature. After all we are animals so what excludes us from exhibiting behaviors much like close relatives in the animal kingdom? What im trying to say is that bullying is the psychological equivalent of natural selection evolved from more primitive practices. Are brains are hardwired to follow millions of years of evolutionary natural selection laws based on body type, attractiveness(What is viewed as fertile), and intelligence.
    Bullying from males towards males is done by every species on the planet, males fight eachother to prove who is dominant. The dominant male usually leads the society or mates with the females, its natural selections way of making sure a species best genes are passed on. In Human society it has become moe complicated and become somewhat of a psychological battle since brutallity and fighting are mostly frowned upon in our society. The Same can be said about female to female bullying.
    Bullying from Male to Female is based on the same natural selection laws and seems to be a secondary method to make sure natural selection laws are followed. Females who dont meet a societys norms or standards are ridiculed or to make sure that the traits that are admired pass on through out futre generations of the society.
    I would keep going through all the different combinatons of why this sex bullies that sex but it seems fairly obvious that its all for the same basic reasons just in different variations and the process is gone about differently depending upon the genders of the individuals involved.

    So simple answer to how to stop being bullied can best be provided by the film "Donnie Darko" If your being picked on about your weight, Lose weight. If your picked on for the way you act, observe the way others act and maybe put some of it into practice. If your picked on for your clothes buy new clothes. I know it sounds shallow to conform to society but it works.
  2. ggg456

    ggg456 Guest

    Are you saying bullying is based on some biological urge of passing on genes? :unsure: What about both girls and boys in groups who bully? What about office bullying, workplace bullying? You seem to be under the assumption that the reasons why a person is bullied is based on on purely physical qualities, that they are 'unattractive,' have to lose weight, or have to change their clothes. Or even, that every person on this earth wants to procreate and have babies. Bullying is far more complicated than that. My mother is outspoken and stands up for what she thinks is wrong concerning the things she sees on her ward, as a nurse, and is singled out for attack/snide threats from others in their groups because she says things how they are (and in the past there has been obvious racism going on). Do you think she has to change, especially if this concerns the deaths/lives of real people? As for your views on gender- I won't go into it but if you get a group of biological 'males' get a group of 'females' you'd see a huge spectrum in how they present themselves or identify themselves.

    As for conforming, I'd disagree.

    I've never been bullied badly but I've been on the receiving end of people in public just picking on me for no reason this year and I had that "why me?" (just to add, this was a girl and a boy here) Why people bully/terrorise each other is complex- including family upbringing, abuse in the family, social expectations, the need to belong to a group/gang that validates them, kids just feeling shit about themselves or having no control over their lives so have to assert power over others, having a lot of anger...the problem doesn't lie in the victim as if its some inherent thing they have to change.

    Well, I'm not changing myself for anybody.
    Last edited: Dec 5, 2007
  3. hecte

    hecte Active Member

    Your reasoning behing bullying in your EXTREMELY BROAD definition of it is precisely why so many dont understand why they are attacked and why it has yet to be prevented in schools and other places.

    What your mom is going through I basically covered she is obviously doing something thats not accepted by the social group she is around so shes attacked for it so that behavior doesnt continue understand?

    I dont even really want to respond to you because you didnt even read my post, or maybe you didnt even really think about what I said.

    You talk about the bully having a bad home life joining a gang or being a part of a click...Ha thats a bunch of crap! People join clicks not because there afraid but because they tend to enjoy being around people with their same interests in mind. Peple join gangs because of poor living conditions, a gang creates a sense of security and protection in areas where a person might feel unsafe. As for having a bad upbringing or being abused this can be dissproven by the fact that some of the toughest bullies are often times the people that are considered to be high society. Kids who have had great lives and are often times very popular in school.

    If you think bullying isnt based majorly on looks, intelligence, and social conformity <mod edit: bunny - do not insult other members> or your in denial
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 6, 2007
  4. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Okay, I'm just going to do a little fence sitting here.

    I agree that sometimes people do behave in ways that irritate others. And others can lash out. And maybe sometimes there are things to be worked on by the person on the receiving end. But hey, nobody, but NOBODY, is perfect.

    I also agree that there can be many complex reasons that people might bully others, including the reasons stated by ggg456. Similarly, there may be different reasons someone is singled out as the target.

    Perhaps the difficulty here is that maybe we aren't all using the same definition of bullying.

    Bullying is generally NOT considered to be just angry retorts/reprimands for a "good" reason. Bullying is, instead, nit-picking, nasty, low, derisive, threatening, vile, uncalled for criticism, verbal dressing down, public humiliation, domination by someone else (often in a position of authority/power over the target; sometimes the reverse, too!), corralling a whole group against one person, might be based on gender/racial/age factors...Essentially, bullying is unwanted harassment of any kind directed to a person who is singled out as the receiver of the abuse/harassment.

    If you're interested, you might want to Google No Bully For Me, and you will find a site that has excellent articles that explain various forms of bullying, targets, and bullies. IMHO, this site covers the topics quite thoroughly. It also has links or urls for other sources.

    Sorry for sitting on the fence ppl.

    A. :unsure:
  5. Angelo_91

    Angelo_91 Well-Known Member

    Hecte, changing yourself just to fit in doesn't rid the problem. Each and every human being is unique, we are all different. Society is a mainstream of a specific type of human standards, which is why society is a hunk of bullshit.
  6. SoulRiser

    SoulRiser Well-Known Member

    I think a lot of bullies just pick on people because deep down they feel really insecure about themselves, and having someone else to laugh at makes them feel better.
  7. Raeien

    Raeien Member

    funny to see people seperate human from animals. we're all animals. even if u like to hear it or not. All animals are different, just compare dog and.. uhm.. squirrel. Human have instinct aswell. Even if u can think, and do whatever u want, its a part of ur ''instinct''. As said earlier, animals have their way to dominate eachother. humans have many ways, bullying is one of them. Im not supportive to bullying, dont misunderstand, but its nature to pick on the ''weak''. im not saying any of you are weak though.

    hehe, i talked a bunch of crap, but hope u know what i mean.
  8. tourniquet77

    tourniquet77 Guest

    GGG is exactly right. You can be no different from the next person and still bullied. Humans are animals but very intellectually advanced therefore have more motives behind why they do things. Also I'm screaming this at the top of my lungs: changing yourself to fit someone elses standards will only make you more insecure. i know this from personal experience. I am living it and it's a nightmare.
  9. Moose

    Moose Well-Known Member

    huh i see what you mean but i think its complete and utter bullshit. sorry but i do.

    I think some humans are just heartless. Males bulling other males is sorta right. Like we fight for girls, thank christ there are girls that think that doing that is just stupid.

    That shit about "if you are over weight, loose weight" yeh its not as easy as that, "buy new clothes" oh yeh then everyone will be like "Oh look that kid copied that other kid".

    The truth about bullying is that the human race is evil at heart. Thats why we have wars.

    GGG got it spot on!

    "I done it cause i can" is what some guy said to me
    another was "Cause you deserve it" my reply "The only person who can judge that is God...if he even excists"
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 14, 2008
  10. Light_In_The_Dark

    Light_In_The_Dark Well-Known Member

    We know the explanation. We need the best solution for it! anyway, very good post!
  11. Boratz

    Boratz Well-Known Member

    If the bullies are drug addicts , youshould be too, if the bullies are raping kids,you raped too, if the buulies are thieves you sshould be too.If the bullies kill amkid you should kill too?

    This is blamimng the victim. You should sit your head under your asshole this way you can understand better, Fuck out in this Forum.
  12. betteroff

    betteroff Member

    I agree with the first post but there are more reasons than that as well.

    People being bullied are not always that different from others. They often are because they are an easier target but people do it as well because they think it's simply fun.

    Intelligence and maturity affect on the commonity of bullying. Of course people are always people but to some degree it does.

    Bullies may have some personal problems on the background as their motives, for example family problems and bullying acts as a force to make them feel better. Some people who have been bullied in the past may become bullies.

    Some just want to feel better about themselves and by picking on others they do.

    Bullies can be jealous of the people they bully.

    People bully to avoid from being bullied. Teenagers are basically insecure and the easiest way is always to go with others.

    I personally think that all the reasons I have mentioned are basically rubbish and that bullying is sad, cruel and so futile but there is so much crap on the world anyway and I don't think that bullying will EVER be stopped. It's human nature and it cannot be changed.

    Sadly I have seen even that happening.
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