I get this a lot. People always ask me why I'm so quiet. I really hate getting this question and here's why. If I haven't answered their question yet(either because they haven't asked me yet, or because I simply responded with "It's just the way I am"), the person assumes I'm some stuck up, unfriendly, and mean person who doesn't want anything to do with them. If I give them the short answer - "I'm just a shy person", I have to listen to them go on about how I need to open up more, join conversations, smile, wave, blah, blah, blah. However, some people go as far as asking me to elaborate and explain why I am the way I am; why I never talk to anyone. And I absolutely hate it. The reason I hate it so much is because I'll go on to tell them the hell I went through as a child. The same old story of how I was picked on, excluded, laughed at, humiliated, and beat up so much growing up. All this time I'm sitting there telling them what happened to me, I know exactly what is running through their ("realist") mind, and every time I turn out to be correct. They go on to tell me it's a normal part of life, everybody gets bullied. Although they might be correct that everybody gets bullied, I don't believe it's a normal part of life. When they say they were bullied, they might have been "bullied" by definition, but as I've said before, some people have it a lot worse than others. You have the wide range of people(which is most people), who by definition are "bullied", but then you have the people like me where these incidences of bullying aren't just your typical childhood quarrels. This is the type of bullying that I try to explain to them. I try to explain that just because you was bullied(which by the way, is most likely in the wide range that I mentioned), and I was bullied, doesn't mean the damaging effects were the same. Okay, you had a spat with a friend, her and perhaps her friends "bullied" you for a while, but eventually you either parted ways or resolved your differences and became friends again. The damage from those type of incidences came and went. But that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about everlasting damaging effects, effects which changes the way that person thinks about people in general. In fact, some people not only believe that bullying is a normal part of life, but it is actually beneficial because "it helps them prepare for the harsh times of adulthood". I believe they couldn't be more wrong. In fact, they are way wrong. Bullying hasn't prepared me one bit for anything. If anything, it has made my life worse, a living hell in fact, pretty much to the point that I can't wait for my life to be over. If instead of being picked on and rejected, and if I was included in on things and people wanted to be my friend, my entire life would be different right now. I would be more confident. I think about all things that could be different. I would have went on to college and gotten a degree, I would have a better paying job, and I would be able to interact better with people. Anytime I'm with a group of people, even a group of family members, I'm really quiet. They think I'm bored or I'm not having a good time. I'm often seen as a "party pooper". But here's the thing, if I am in a group of people and I actually do happen to say something, a lot of times I create some sort of awkwardness in the group. They get this look on their face like they're wondering why I said what I said or that what I said was irrelevant to the conversation. This is why I'm always awkward around people, whether it be social or just in general. None of this has left me since graduating from high school, even the bullying. I remember when I was a kid, I couldn't wait until I graduated and got into adulthood because I thought all the elementary stuff would have been left behind. I thought people would have grown up. But that's not the way it went. Bullying has followed me into adulthood. I could go to work, just mind my own business and not attack anyone, but for some reason someone wants to prove how tough they are, or how cool they are. They hone in on my annoyances and they will repeatedly do it. Something that makes me more upset is the fact that I will watch another person come into work every single day, each and every week, and not one person will bully them. It feels like I'm always carrying around a big sign that says "Bully Me", no matter where I go, no matter which job I get. People can't just leave me alone. Now getting back to the people that believe bullying is a normal part of life. A lot of the people that say this are also the same people that say to me "You're a big baby, grow up" and "Get over yourself" after I explain to them why I am the way I am. THIS is where they contradict themselves. The reason they contradict themselves is because they have just told me that bullying is what prepares me for the harsh times of adulthood, but then they turn around wondering why I am the way I am, so they ask me, and after I explain to them what I have been through, they make the statements I mentioned, which doesn't make sense. So many people join in on the bullying and humiliation of others, which can literally ruin a person's life, in yet, they don't condone other wrong doings such as murder, adultery, theft, vandalism, rape, and molestation, ALL THE WHILE claiming that they are a person who has a conscience. Bullying makes people feel like shit. Getting bullied at work is very stressful. The bully doesn't care if you lose your job, so in essence they don't care if you can't pay your bills, therefore they don't care if you end up out in the street, therefore they don't care if you eat, therefore they don't care if you die. I know it's hard to swallow. I mean, do they really not care if you die? Well, if you think about it the way I described, then no, they don't. So they have no problem in making your life a living hell to the point where you don't want to live, in yet they also claim not to condone murder, and they also claim to have a conscience and they're not some programmed robot. And to them, if most people do it then that makes it okay. They say they know what's right and wrong, but if there's millions of people that believe such and such is the norm, they're just gonna take the easy way out and join in. This, in a way, contradicts themselves again, because they say they know all about life and "how the world works" and that they are tough. So they're tough, but they're not tough enough to stand up and do what's right because so many people other people are doing what's wrong. Don't tell me you're tough, if you're gonna take the easy way out like that. This is why being nice has become the hard, and being mean has become the easy - because so many people are doing it. And because generation after generation people believe this way, it perpetuates. I believe that if something's wrong, it's wrong. Bullying is wrong. Bullying is evil. It literally can ruin a person's life, just as it has ruined my life and many others. This world doesn't care if I die because it wants to uphold what it perceives as the norm and what it believes prepares people for harsh times, when all it does is actually create harsh times. I hate this God damn world. You BULLIES out there are not tough! You have to do what other people are doing! If you were really tough, you wouldn't care what other people are doing, no matter how many people there are, and do the right thing! Stop being mean!