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Bullying is a normal part of life

Discussion in 'Bullying and Violence' started by NotAnotherUserName, Apr 18, 2011.

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  1. NotAnotherUserName

    NotAnotherUserName Banned Member

    Bullying is a normal part of life...Right?
    I am so used to bullying and thats my view, I'm fed up of people teasing me and pushing me around. Fed up of people who think it's funny to make me cry :blub: To scared to speak up about it, to scared to tell anyone. Would people be able to tell me how to get used to bullying more and not react?
  2. me myself and i

    me myself and i Account Closed

    Talk to your parents or to a teacher or even to a trusted friend.
    Bullying is not normal and not acceptable.
    Bullies need to be stopped, before they move on and hurt others too.
  3. nolonger

    nolonger Well-Known Member

    you never get used to bullying. it'll eventually consume you in the end. Some people have killed themselves, and some people have killed others.

    try to tell someone about it, like a teacher or something? because after a while, you actually start saying the things the bullies said, to yourself. like internalizing all the poisonous shit.

    how many friends do you have? what's your social life like? do you go out much with people/to public places and stuff?

    if it goes on for too long, or gets way too personal, it can cause major mental problems.
  4. NotAnotherUserName

    NotAnotherUserName Banned Member

    I'm in a group of 18 friends, we go out almost every night. Most of them fear day light. I have another pack of 6 friends who I hang around in the day light, their freakkin awesome!!! But because they describe what I were as Emo, we take it as a joke most of the time so yeah pretty big friends group but both groups hate each other :-/

    Bullies have been picking on m for about 2 years now should have got used to it by now, but I'm pathetic, my friends just stay in the back round but they would come out everytime it broke in to physical fighting which isscary :-s I'm to scared to tell anyone I'm a pathetic wuss. *Sigh* :( Thanks
  5. icequeen

    icequeen Well-Known Member

    you dont get used to bullying!! it eats away at you and erodes your self worth...bullies will bully as long as they have control and if you can summon the strength to fight back, it will shock them into submission. this may not always win, but generally bullies will keep bullying while their victim continues to be a victim. its not normal to be a victim of bullying. the bullies are in the wrong not you..ignore the emo tag...sometimes thats another way for others to deal with stuff. you have got through some tough times...dont let the trolls win :troll2:
  6. NotAnotherUserName

    NotAnotherUserName Banned Member

    Hmm...I dunno. What the fuck am I doing with my stupid life?
  7. Bullying is not normal and shouldn't be a part of life.. You should get the adults whom you trusted to step in and stop the bullying.. Nobody deserved to be bullied.. :hug:
  8. NotAnotherUserName

    NotAnotherUserName Banned Member

    I'll tell my head of year then ;) xxx
  9. Underground

    Underground Well-Known Member

    I know this is an old post, but I hope you're well and everything got sorted out.

    In school I never reported bullying, I, honestly never saw the point at the time. They were so subtle most of the time that teachers either didn't notice or didn't care, which was why. I also never knew how or even when to begin with it. Bullying was my daily life. My goal was to survive each day. I knew my role. Sit on the furthest seat at the back of the classroom alone and just do my work and keep my eye on the clock to watch every minute that went by til the end of the lessons. To try and ignore bullies, but if I had to respond, try saying something smart or laughing with them which never worked. At breaktimes and lunchtimes, I'd go to the library and either read a book, do homework/coursework or go on a computer. You could only go in the library on certain days of the week depending on your year.. Mondays for Year 7, Tuesdays for Year 8, etc but despite that I went in every day, the librarian got used to me using it as a refuge I guess and stopped kicking me out, afterall I was always alone and not causing trouble. The rare days I did get kicked out or the library was closed for events, I either hid in the toilets or found a spot where there were no other pupils or teachers to say anything. Being a loner in my school wasn't a usual sight seeing as pretty much everyone else had friends, so I'd stand out like a sore thumb. This was basically all of Year 9, Year 10 and Year 11, although in Year 11 I did manage to stick with friends a little more often. In Year 12 (sixth form) I didn't get bullied, but only had one friend who chose completely different A-levels to me , so I was always alone.. again. I applied to resit my A-levels at college as I knew I was failing them, and yeah despite getting an offer, I was rejected in the end anyway because I was in a psychiatric ward on enrolment day and there was "so much" demand for places that I lost out. The unhelpful tutor just dumped me down at the college careers advisers office where I just went home. I did manage to get on another college course, but it's not one I really wanted to do, and I'm only really doing it to keep me doing something and getting an extra qualification.

    There was a teacher I tried to... 'communicate' my issues with, she was my Year 8 R.E. teacher, but after Year 8 I had nothing to do with her, but I always thought she would be one of the most understanding teachers, seeing as she was motherly. Hell, I even cut myself to get her attention (trust me, I know there's stigma about that, but it was the only time I ever did anything like that for attention), she did notice my blood stained hand, where I still have a scar, and she was helpful throughout, but she told my Year Head also happened to be her neighbour outside of school, lol. They never established why I was so screwed up, just that I was. I think my school then put it down to a "drinking problem" because I turned up pissed twice, I even had a substance abuser counsellor come to the school to talk me through things like that, and one of her introductory questions was "I hope you haven't been drinking...". Yeah, because I was a total alcoholic. Not.

    Now.. with 3 years of that, you might think I got used it right? I never. Everytime something happened, I got scared. I got anxious. I'd go into 'fight or flight' mode where I'd quickly have to decide whether to walk away or say something, it was usually walk away. Now I'm 18 and its been just under since I finished compulsory schooling, I have barely any friends, and I have social anxiety, I've also spent time in police custody and a psychiatric ward due to a suicide attempt last year. I still think people are judging me when they look at me. I am still an internet addict. I used the internet as a coping resource when it all started in Year 9, I played Habbo and pretended to be someone else, but the internet as a comfort zone has now become my worst enemy I guess. It's just too bad I don't have the willpower to leave it behind yet and I've put on a lot of weight since then, yup, food because a coping resource as well. I'm hoping to get my life back on track somehow, though. Everything is so much harder when you very few close friends, and the ones who do have their own issues or have moved on from such issues, and parents who can stand and criticise but not actually help.

    My point in all this: You never get used to it. It never becomes or feels like a normal part of life. You know and feel you're different from those around you, so you never feel happy in your 'place'. The quicker you get it sorted out, the better. I've had minor bullying in college, but I have an amazing tutor who is extremely sympathetic and sorted it out for me. When you're older, you have more say/power in what teachers, etc. do. It's illegal to be bullied at work or college/university as an adult, but in school it is an "internal problem" - one which schools generally don't care about. They put up a notice, sure, saying how bullying won't be tolerated.. but that's just to keep inspectors and the Board of Education happy. They don't actually enforce what they say. However, I hope for you it's a different case...
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 7, 2011
  10. Moorefam11

    Moorefam11 New Member

    Did you know that you can beat a bully without using your fist? This is amazing. (Romans 12:17) "Return evil for evil to no one. Provide fine things in the sight of all men." If a bully sees that his words or actions don't affect you, he may stop bothering you. It is good not to let a bully harm you emotionally or physically. Be careful, safe, smart and remember, "He that is slow to anger is better than a mighty man" (Proverbs 16:32)
  11. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Brilliant advice :)
    Bullying is not as normal part of life and it shouldn't happen. Don't let what they're saying get you down, they're only bullying because of their own insecurities.
  12. LightInTheDarkestNight

    LightInTheDarkestNight Well-Known Member

    I agree that is very good advice. You should think before you act or react to others and in this sense you can avoid repaying evil for evil. However, we are kinda like puppets we all react to the world around us. If you get bullied over and over, people are unkind even mean and cruel to you time after time it will negatively effect even the strongest willed individuals.

    I've seen bullying first hand even on place like SF chat. Social influences can be very negative, good people can easily gang up on an innocent victim and bully that person. If your crowd(in-group) or people you like, dislike an individual then it's quite easy to join in on attacking someone and become a bully yourself.

    Here's a website about a book that highlights many factors in how good people turn evil or at the very least do evil things.


    The resisting influence section has a lot of good information. I've looked through most of it previously but now I'm checking out the 10 step program to building resistance and resilience, which is quite interesting.
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