I am so extremely weary. Fighting to get my clients what they are owed and need to survive is getting so much harder. Kafka would be proud. The Victim blaming rhetoric is really starting to get me angry. Moronic people with no clue are getting me even more irate to the point I want to savage their lives and plunge them into poverty and mental illness just to watch them suffer and be vilified and watch their bigoted self delusions shatter on the jagged edge of reality. Then laugh at them with contempt and scorn when they come to me for help. “I am sorry due to funding cuts you are on your own. I would direct you to other services but they have gone under. Please now rely on 'Big Society.' born of political spin and equally as empty. If that means starvation and death well that is your own fault for some reason I can't fathom, but apparently it is. Be careful not to become homeless as it is the equivalent of being a criminal. But you can legally sleep in a snow bank.” I go to bed angry and wake up angry. This anger is seeping into everything. It is useful to an extent. It allows me to wage psychological warfare and be so persistently stubborn I may as well be the earth's axis. But the earth's Axis does not get demoralised or suffer burn out or need to eat. I am haunted by the dead and the stories they told. Aware how badly they were treated and how they do not exist in official statistics. But their gravestones and family grief is very real regardless of what the numbers don't say and government tries to cover up. Seems compassion and human decency is no longer cost effective. I am so tired but I cannot stop. Compassion and rage are food for the fight but I am exhausted. It has certainly affected my capacity to write and sleep.