Burning my self

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by tazco, May 21, 2007.

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  1. tazco

    tazco New Member

    As from the title thats how I have been coping with stuff I`m suffer from Paranoid Schizophrenia and I sit alone at night and cry and when I`m like do thats when I take it out on my self <mod edit:shygirl method>
    I also have tried taking over doses, I`ve also slept with knives under my pillow, I feel that I`m not truly in control of my life any more I feel like a robot I`m given commands and I carry them out then come the night and I just crack under the pressure and harm my self.

    I have wrote this poem,

    I open my eyes and all I see is nothing
    is there any thing here really
    I listen all I hear is my hart beat or is it,
    then I listen again I hear a voice
    in my head or is it
    I feel around for walls, doors, or a floor,
    there is nothing but I keep walking
    and keep hearing the voice,
    my hart beat gets louder,
    but then there is nothing
    all is silent nothing around me
    I close my eyes and when I re-open them
    I`m blinded with a light so bright
    I cant see nothing for a few minuets then a
    hand reaches out and touches me
    on my shoulder and the voice I heard says
    "Welcome" and the beating I heard was the
    beating wings of angels all around me
    for now I`m in a land of peace a place called,
    `HEAVEN`


    thats how things are for me day and night.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 21, 2007
  2. Ignored

    Ignored Staff Alumni

    Presumably you have some input from a psychiatrist?? Have you told them what is happening for you?
     
  3. tazco

    tazco New Member

    i seen a psychiatrist b4 and i have been admitted to hospital on several occassions and been on tablets and and had chats about it but nothing, all i want to do is sort it out but each day that goes by gets harder and harder. i cant cope it seems that theres no way out, i feel im loosing my self to this day by day.
     
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