i feel like i have tried it all to deaden my pain - ive tried therapy and cutting but nothing deadens my pain like burning and even in that it doesnt always work. But lately i burn every nite before i sleep and often now during the day. i cant handle the day to day life w/o hurting myself. i take chemical cleaners and a pain relieving cream like theragesic or bengay and apply it to my skin in places that i kno wont show the burn or the scars. Its like an impulse, i do and i hate the pain that it causes. I hate the welts that stay for days or weeks. i hate what i am doing to myself but i cant stop cuz if i stop now i might do something worse.