Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by TJ, Jul 18, 2010.

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  1. TJ

    TJ Staff Alumni

    it seems to be that not many people talk about this here , i know cutting is the most known forum of self harm but there are others of us out there that burn ,

    i guess what im getting at is .. im a burner , and would like some sort of support as to how to manage it , its an uncontrolable urge most of the time , ( mainly when i sleep i get reliefe from these thoughts)

    anyone ?
  2. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    You're not the only one, Esther Hun. But I think you kinda knew that about me. I can identify. I don't really know of much more than I've already tried to share with you. They generally say to squeeze ice really hard, specifically for that. Ask your therapist. You know where I am, if you need me. :hug:
  3. TJ

    TJ Staff Alumni

    thing is my therapist tells me to use distraction , ive done that and exhusted all distraction techqunices i know of , i have tried holding ice before but found that it just didnt give me the pain i need , see i harm for the pain , i want to hide the emtional pain rather than facing that id pefer the physical pain ,
    maybe im beyound help in this area , so many have tried to help me stop but i always end up doing it again after a period of time of nothing and everytime i go back to it its worse than the time before :(
  4. GA_lost

    GA_lost Well-Known Member

    Sweetie I have had the same problem for years. Thankfully it has slowed down. What needs to be done is finding a different way of expressing the feelings and learning what the triggers are. I wish I could tell you the best ways to express your feelings, but I am still trying to find those myself. One thing I have learned is not to pressure yourself to stop. I had a psychiatrist once who told me if I harmed myself again she would drop me as a patient. This made it inevitable that I would harm myself. If you must harm yourself, keep it safe both in terms of fire and in terms of infection. :hug:
  5. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    She sounds awful - that's practically blackmail
  6. thedeafmusician

    thedeafmusician Staff Alumni

    there are more 'effective' ways of using ice, to get a relatively 'safer' burn, apart from squeezing ice cubes. i say safe in inverted commas because although it CAN be safer, you can still get second degree burns, but it's a lot harder to, if that makes sense? that aside, sometimes i'd go for a really long run and then by the time im all done i'd be too tired to do anything except go for a cool down walk so that my muscles don't get all cramped up. generally i've found that when i want to harm myself for a more physical reason as opposed to an emotional one, that doing something physical is a better way of dealing with the urge. so yeah, exercise. oh, and i used to play guitar cause i'd have sore fingers afterwards, but it doesnt work so much now i have guitar blisters.

  7. cownes

    cownes Well-Known Member

    i have done it a few times and i no how much it can help the only thing that is stopping me at the momment is the smell of burning flesh, it makes it hard to hide from my mom so that is the thing controling me doing it at the momment. I wish i knew a way that could help but i find going for a walk can often help me ride out the feeling or doing running or something so my muscles ache as it is physical pain too. :hug:
  8. TJ

    TJ Staff Alumni

    My flat mate and my mother confronted me today .. asking why do i do these 'awful' things to myself , i tried to explain to them that it was my way of dealing with intense pain i feel on the inside , but they didnt get it :(
    over here in New Zealand theres a real stigma about self harmers , ur classed as emo if u cut and burning is just not heard of
    one of my arms is covered in burns and the other in tattoos , for a while i found that tattooing was a good 'healthy' way of getting pain but its so permenant i have run outta ideas that i want there forever .
    i know that scars are somewhat permant but not as much as a tattoo .

    things are just so hard for me right now everything is falling down around me , a failed relationship of 5 yrs , i lost my house that i owned , i lost my car ( it got repossed) and now im facing bankrupcy which is all leading me too just want to punish myself because ive failed in life ... ive failed so badly and i cant see that it will get much better than what ive got .

    people say use therapy etc and let time heal the wounds but to be honest i dont have the time , im so despate for something to change and i would do anything for it to change but :( im stuck
  9. Littlewiji

    Littlewiji Well-Known Member

    Bro, I dunno what to say :/ I wouldn't have the guts to burn tbh. Your kinds right about nz's attitude, but I think that's the same with any western society?

    All I can think of is take some time to smell the roses once in a while. We live in a beautiful country: go see some of it. Maybe you'll find something.
  10. TJ

    TJ Staff Alumni

    so i thought i had regained contorl on my urges , hence why i havent posted in a few days , but im so wrong , so terriblely wrong all im waiting for is for my flat mate to go to bed so i can let flames lose again on my skin :(
    this is another addiction of mine , see i have sereval addictions none of which are any good for me but this one is the one that is running rampant in my life right now ,
    if only i could jump in a car and drive like i used to , that was another way of me contorling the urges , just drive and blast my music with not a care in the world , but my car got taken from me , its not as tho i can just go get one due to the finacal problems im facing .
    ive lost all intrest in my hobbies too , like playing the guitar it sits in its case and everytime i get it out i cant think clearly enough to put a tune together like i used too , painting is no good either the last one i did was of "tear drops" but where red and obviously looked more like blood which then triggered me to want to cut . im so morbid these days .
    the last two burns ive done were 3rd degree and are rather painful and compleltcated , but even this doesnt stop me i just want more and more , i think i am really beyound help with this ...
    therapy like ive said in another post is just making me feel worse when i come out , and i dont know how to change this as ive talk to my therapist and hes at a loss of what to do with me , i see my case manager tomorrow maybe that will be my last option but i doubt ill make it thru tonight without flames :(
    so lost and confused right now
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