Burying Feelings

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by justMe7, Jul 7, 2011.

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  1. justMe7

    justMe7 Well-Known Member

    Im really starting to debate this right now. I think maybe I'll be a more functioning and better person. Granted I feel that's betraying who I am, but that's a feeling too so screw how I feel. I'm capable of just smuthering, thinking and acting regardless of what I feel. Shoving these stupid things into a box might be better than feeling them to be honest.

    Anyone feel similar?
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    i have bureid my feelings for years and continue to hide them the thing is though they come out without notice now like a volcano no warning I hate showing emotion i have always kept control gues s weather we want them too or not eventually they work way up again and to surface.
  3. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    My :T: says to think of it as a closet.. You open the door and put those thoughts in there.. But the trick is you have to take out one of those thoughts that have built up and deal with it.. Otherwise your closet will be bulging to open..
  4. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Sometimes it's appropriate to hide our feelings - like not telling a boss what to do with their suggestions :lol: But in general, it's not good for me to hold in all my feelings all the time. If I hold in one feeling, I end up holding in ALL my feelings...start to go kind of numb. Eventually, even I'm holding them in, hiding them, it only lasts for so long; eventually, the feelings either begin to trickle out slowly but non-stop, or they rush out in one big whoosh, like a burst dam. It's better for me to find a time to examine and feel my feelings on a regular basis.
  5. justMe7

    justMe7 Well-Known Member

    I dont know...
    These weren't the responces I was hoping for. I suppose that's life.
    Yeah.. you're right. Problem is, I breath with my feelings, without them i feel so empty, everything else is just so cold and calculated. Maybe progressive, but it's empty. And to tame my feelings to kneels to my thoughts restricts the growth of the person as who I am. If that makes sense. I dont enjoy growing in a stencil, i enjoy growing and feeling as ... meh whatever it sounds stupid already.

    I just feel like shit in so many different ways, it's demoralising. I can at times calm my feelings with other feelings running alongside thoughts. But those burning feelings never go away, and I am unsure how to make myself feel better in that regard without fooling or lying to myself. And I can't do that.
    Maybe it's just something I need to accept. Think and cement it in, creating anchor and piviot points with thoughts that feelings grow and lose strength from.

    The problem with me is, feelings are something to throw into a box. Their incredibly fluid and unique but all part of the samething. It's undefinable for me in words, but when I do force myself to define them, and control them, im changing their natural flows, and :S idk, I feel weird. Like a liar. I miss the flushes over my head and face and in my heart... that being said I cant cry really. I can tear up, but I cant cry, simply because I wont let those feelings out like that, but I dont think my way out of that. These feelings that are overwhelming me at times are because my thoughts just.. are that weak. Probably because I dont use them enough. Maybe that's my problem, not my feelings, but my lack of strengthened thought(s).

    ..regardless. Thankyou for the replies. It's nice to know im not completely alone in some regard. Though I think im still nuts :tongue:
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 7, 2011
  6. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey SBlake, You have it partially right..You have to have a thought to have a feeling.. Maybe you should step back and think about what your next step is..Once you start examining the thought process then you gain the strength to have the feeling..You should talk with a therapist about cognitive distortions..It might help you to see things differently.. Good Luck!!
  7. justMe7

    justMe7 Well-Known Member

    I don't particularly agree that you need thought to have feelings. There are times when feelings just rush over and thoughts are the anchors that struggle to ground you, and get twisted by feelings in the process and anchor you in an awkward sequence which you play off of.
    Doesnt matter, it's how I work at times, doesn't mean it's how everyone does. I donno.

    I personally today say screw feelings. They just fuck someone like me over anyhow. I feel like shit from everything because well, not having a great eight months. Everything that was good and I opened up to and let me feelings connect with is just fading away to nothing. Im tired of feeling worse everyday. If this is a break by being able to sit here or think of something to do or doing it, then I fucking hate breaks. No matter what I do I still feel like my feelings are being wasted and not reciprocated. So fuck them, their obviously skewed or highly saturated or something.
    Ug my heads not that much better off either.
  8. NiceGuYKC

    NiceGuYKC Well-Known Member

    I've been burying up my feelings for about fifteen years.
    I don't know how long I can keep doing it.
    Theres no way in hell I'm giving up without a fight though.
  9. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    The trouble with burying something is that it will be dug up later, at an even more inopportune time.
  10. justMe7

    justMe7 Well-Known Member

    As far as things are going, I don't think I ever could bury them. But the ability to harness them better is where I'm at. You're right adam, they will come back, I know this first hand as with stuff from my childhood. And as far as hiding away from the feelings of everyday life? .. Well I know how I want to be, just who I am isn't exactly there yet.
    It's just crazy right now.. and they're at times seriously distorting and driving me nuts.

    Do you ever talk about them NiceGuYKC?
  11. BornFree

    BornFree Well-Known Member

    Tried burying feelings for 30 + years and I guess thats why I been having problems now...

    The problem with burying them is it takes energy to bury them and KEEP them buried so sometimes I wonder if its not more freeing to deal with them and get it done and out and move on?

    Even with burying them they don't DISAPPEAR they are still there... albeit buried so no matter how hard you JUMP on the ground or smooth it over... they are and always will be STILL THERE!!

    Hope you find the answers you're looking for along this journey called Life!

    Take care x
  12. justMe7

    justMe7 Well-Known Member

    Well there's a balance that comes with it. Burying them outright works, to a degree. I've let an emotional experience at a young age affect my mind and life so much that anything that associated to how that experience felt I'd run away from and bury. I know it spreads and even when you find a containable place for those feelings and a "normal" way to live, they still stir around inside of you.
    Without feelings I become calculated and bond with the coldest and most methodical of things in life. With feelings I waver and want and need so much, then the prospect of life and a future seem so impossible because of my immaturities associated to those feelings. It's like a living nightmare.

    idk what to do to be honest. Everythings crumbeling around me, and has been for along time. Then there's everything that I should be and what I can do. It's pretty shitty when all you want to do is hold someone and be with them when you cant. Then I start going screwy due to how screwy my feelings are. Then ontop of that feelings about work and basic life, and just opening up enough to share a moment with life, then give something back, when infact I feel like I have nothing to give and when I try with feelings it goes all nutty. I suppose this is how most people feel though, so I should just get used to it. Problem is im exhausted of just getting on with it, all I want to do is feel, but everything I feel and feel hopeful for right now, becomes impossible in a few moments or by tomorrow. It's hard to rejuvenate myself and feelings, almost like their burning out.
    :turtle: So bouncey bouncey, forget it for a moment, let that burning feeling just subside and Ill think about something else :)

    Drives me nuts. Especially when I get negativity thrown at me. I'm not an angry person or hostile, I don't have it really in me. I really feel so fucked up that at times I want it to go away. Hope and dreams feel..it's so tiring hoping and dreaming. Just want something real, not something that says its real but has no clue how to feel like how I want to feel. It's really getting bad, I keep getting high then falling, which is fine and normal. It's a hope that degrades because it has no substance or palce to be put in real life, so inside once it gets so high, it needs to fall back to reality. That's normal, it's a bit tormenting but it's normal. The worst is the sudden Smacks of negativity that come as a result of my ignorance at expressing it. It's done something to me and I'm inadvertantly feeding from it because I have nothing else to turn too. I shouldnt have opened up and thought about the past and future. But I keep do, I can't stop because I'm me. I've only been alive as long as I have, I only have known what I've experienced and felt, but I can't find a connection I can maintain with anyone else and grow from. I can find "understanding" but a connection that I can grow with? The only failing on that part is myself not on the other end.

    My dog did something so lovely today. I got into an argument, and shit. I was in such a good mood but I provoked an argument(was my fault I guess) and was hit with shit again. So I felt it, I can't bloody fucking help it. Throw a nasty concept or saying at me and it runs through me. Ill sit there and take it, but inside I feel it. I take it onboard and attribute those negative feelings to who I am, and I literally can feel myself falling inside. Almost like when youre landing in a plane. There's just nothing I can do about it because I also can respond accordingly on the same level, but I LOATHE those feelings and I hate maturing negativity. So what do I do? at 12:30 in the afternoon I just went to bed. I was digging myself a pit, just trying to get away from it, but then Zain came upstairs, came up to me looked at me, then outside at the window, jumped on the bed and laid beside me. Made me feel so, idk. .. He doesn't care about my failures or whatever. He just wanted to go out and spend time with me(yeah he does:tongue:) so I took him out cause i love when he's happy, and for that moment when he came upstairs, he made me feel so happy.

    Im becoming a simpleton :tongue:. But now.. ug. Everything feels so.. just want a blasted hug. My mind will jump to balance out how I feel by contrasting it to what other people are going through and enduring, that so many are going through so much more shit and that my "problems" are crap. Kinda takes my eyes and feelings away from me. Doesn't change anything, just disconnects me from myself. bah. thread killer. Fuck it Feelings are so beautiful, so much when you can share and touch someone and feel them, and they can feel you... But sometimes... alot of the times... feelings cripple who I am, especially in combination with my thoughts.

    It's shit.
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