Do you have this feeling too ? Like this certainty alonside you everyday. Everytime you stop it's like how it has to be anyway, in the end. Sometimes I'm dow, sometimes I drown. Sometimes it's like it will never be over. Sometimes it's like pain is too strong. Someday feeling like worthless, feeling weak, hoping for a place to hide and escape. And you just want this to end because somedays it's like a pain submerging you. But somedays are better. Somedays are bad but you think you will hold on. Or more like you don't think you just do. Because if you stop and think it feels like this was so much sadness with nothing in the prsent and more fight coming ... And at those time when I stop I have this certainty that in the end. Sooner or later. I will certainly kill myself. I will go on as far as I can but in 2, 5 or 10 years I'll be down on my knees and empty and I'll just give up. It's not sad or scary. It's ust like something that anyway will happen like it has to be the story of me. Does anyone feel like this ? Like you will continue but you know, at that time you are sure, anyway, in the end, you will end it a bit sooner. And it's like you're just waiting to be tired enough to be in this life. .