(Fore word: I was tempted to log on with a new user name cos so many people on here already know me but then I thought that if I can't be me here, where can I be?) I just got back from a 5 week holiday in turkey yesterday. My plane landed 4am, I was home by 7am and at the GU clinic by 9am...... Something happened on Friday/Saturday that I decided not to think much of until Sunday. I had made some friends on the beach on the past 3 days leading up to Friday. A group of 3 guys and a girl. We'd been going out to bars at night, getting drunk, dancing, chatting and laughing. Friday night we decided to do the same but seeing as it was my last night in that district I decided to order a bottle of tequila to the table. (about 4 more of their friends had joined us all male and the girl had had to go back to her town during the day) Some-one poured the drinks (don't know who) as we did 4 shots in about 10mins (a lot less than the previous nights) We started dancing for a while and (this bits really hard to explain but) I kind of suddenly realised I was REALLY drunk. Now this is a very vague memory but I recall needing to go to the toilet and some guy offered to show me the way. I don't remember getting to the toilet. I remember an image of being in the middle of dancing crowd and a girl clinging on to a palm tree from on top of a table near the back but that's it. I woke up 12.30 the next day on my hotel bed. The bed was still made, and I was on top. It took me about an hour to actually wake up. I went to the bathroom and realised a few things. My dress was on inside out, my hair was a mess, my knickers were missing and I was very very very sore "down there". I got in the shower and noticed bruises on my arms and legs. Some small cuts and grazes and my muscles ached. I was pretty damaged "down there". I spent the whole day in a daze, feeling floaty and not really with it.... I guess I just assumed it had been an extremely rough and wild night though truth be told I don't think I thought about it much at all..... I know I had 3 condoms in my bag the night before.. they were missing.... (that supposedly put my mind at ease) I got on the coach to another town where mum was staying with her friends. Spent Saturday and the night with them rather peacefully but still not completely with it. Sunday morning I went to the toilet to discover burning, pain and blood in my urine. Being Sunday no where was open so had to go to the hospital before travelling to mums villa to prepare for our return. They took a urine test and told me I had a urine infection that had spread to my kidneys. They gave me anti-biotics and we were off again on the coach to mums villa. ^That made me think twice and I started to wonder and realise how a lot of things didn't add up... Spent the night at the villa. Next day was spent packing and preparing the villa for disuse over the winter.... Got on the plane that night.... My plane landed 4am, I was home by 7am and at the GU clinic by 9am... At the clinic I told them roughly what happened and that I wanted to be checked out completely to make sure I was healthy and to treat my wounds "down there". They asked me if I thought I could have been drugged..... That's when my head started spinning and the past week really started grinding in my mind... They proposed sending me to the Havens for forensic testing... It was happening so fast... They explained a million things and did a urine and blood test... I hadn't yet slept... I went to straight to the haven after where they explained they could take swabs and do tests and document injuries and take a statement.... They asked me if I wanted to involve the police.... (Woah woah woah!!! I don't know what happened... I don't remember... I'm confused... really confused...) When I told them that I couldn't go to the police cos I don't know what happened or with who and that I can't just go around accusing people of things especially in another country etc etc they told me that the results could be kept for many many months in case I wanted to follow it up later.... The forensic testing was hideous... I came home, had a chocolate cookie, got into bed and slept... I woke up, logged on and started typing this... I'm really confused. I don't know what to think. I don't know what to feel. I don't know what to do... Every things one big mess in my head. How do I go about clearing it all up??? Someone talk to me?