I've been okay since January. No attempts, no cutting, no bad thoughts, nothing. But now I'm getting these overwhelming thoughts about cutting and going deep enough to die. I did cut, not deep enough, but enough to run out of bandaids when I was cleaning them afterwards. But these thoughts are taking over and I don't want to die, but I keep making plans. There's so much I want to do, and I never want to be in a hospital again, and...and...I'm scared.