Basically I took an overdose almost four weeks ago now and ended up on life support in intensive care. The doctor took me off the antidepressant that I used in the overdose and put me on venlafaxine which seems to be working brilliantly. I certainly seem to be doing a lot more - I have had an enjoyable christmas, had a great new year, have been doing more and just generally been a lot brighter. I don't feel depressed, or at least I don't think I do, but I have this overwhelming urge to commit suicide. I've contemplated throwing myself infront of a speeding train and hanging myself. I just don't understand how people have such an anti suicide view, it doesn't make sense. It's like society has brainwashed people into believing that suicide is a bad thing. People don't want to contradict what is considered to be socially acceptable. Who blames them? Admitting that you're actually pro suicide/choice will lead to you being diagnosed a psychotic and detained under the mental health act. I know this from personal experience. I'm forced into taking medication and attending therapy just because I challenge others beliefs. The psychiatrist actually asked me why I hadn't confided in anyone before I took the overdose :laugh: I wasn't going to store pills up for months only to have them taken off me. I mean, i'm hardly going to tell anybody that i'm going to commit suicide, am I? I didn't mention it on here, on any other forums, to friends, family, mental health professionals because I didn't want to ruin my chances. I should be dead now, I took double the toxic dose (I done my research). Being found completely fucked up my chances of dying. I've never wanted to resort to violent ways of suicide either. I've never wanted to make the headlines or some bizarre statement, I just want to slip away.