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but its not about the food...

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im struggling alot with my weight at the moment. ive gained alot recently and it just wont go away. i havent gone out with my friends for a few weeks now which is something i never do. i just dont want 2 go anywhere when i feel this fat. thats what i am. fat. and i cant get away from it.

ive started to compulsively overeat. i feel momentarily relieved when i eat. as if all my problems have gone. but then they come back, so i eat some more. i found this on a website about compulsive overeating. it basically sums up what i feel like:

But it's not about the food... it's about the inability to deal with feelings and emotions...

i dont know where to begin trying to deal with my feelings and emotions so as to stop this cycle :sad: if i could just sort out my head, maybe i could get back to the way i used to be? when i was happy?

thanks for listening
love makeitlooksoprettyburning


Yes, eating disorders whatever they are, are expressions of something inside of you. :hug:

As for how to "deal" with your feelings and emotions- it is difficult. Your eating disorders are the way you've dealt with your feelings and it's difficult to let go of those kind of coping mechanisms when it becomes as natural as walking to you. I was once told that people with anorexia usually start wanting help when they can't stop the binge-eating as it's so frightening to them.

I'm sorry you're feeling so awful and fat that you can't go to your friend's house. :sad:

I suppose it all boils down to what does "fat" mean to you? And finding out how you've developed these ways of looking at yourself and food in such an intensively negative way. I think this may boil down to you. And how you feel about every inch of yourself and not your body.

It's complex and takes a lot of work to take apart all these things that have made you feel like you can't do everyday things like going to your friend's. I recommend seeing a counsellor who has a flexible approach when it comes to combining psychotherapy and CBT. It takes a while to find someone who suits you. If you're in the UK, the eating disorder service is non existent unless you're about to die (in my area anyway) and it can be frustrating to ask for help from people who will look at your weight only. There are counsellors that work in voluntary organisations who may be of help for you.

Good luck. I hear the struggle you're going through and it is difficult when you're feeling so frightened and unable to go outside because you feel so awful with your body and yourself.

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