Since I wasted all my holidays inside and the holidays are over tomorrow I will finally go out and leave my room. I will go into the pharmacy tomorrow and buy some pills. I don't know if I will OD tomorrow, very probably not tomorrow, but lately I became more and more suicidal and I can't stand it anymore. I am not into cutting my wrists, already had that...it sucks. So I will try it with pills this time. I will have pills ready just in case i feel suicidal because there have been days when i couldn'T stand this life anymore but had nothing for killing myself since i don't want to cut my wrists again. So yeah, this time it will be the pills. I will have them ready in the house just in case. And this case will be very soon I am afraid. Maybe even tomorrow.