Bye Byeee :( On edge!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by sweetwhisper, Jan 9, 2014.

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  1. sweetwhisper

    sweetwhisper Well-Known Member

    I really don't know what to do anymore! I've tried to keep going and keep fighting but I just want to disappear! I'm sick and tired ofeverythi g ! Nothi g is getti g better its all just getti worse! I'm done fighting! I'm Sorry!

    RIP Sweetwhiperrrrrrr!
     
  2. Blacky

    Blacky Well-Known Member

    Wait, please wait! At least till you read this... I know life is hard, and I really know that, I know how it is to feel hopeless and giving up seems like the only choice you've been giving but that is not true, because we care about you and want to help and carry this burden with you! :hug:
     
  3. sweetwhisper

    sweetwhisper Well-Known Member

    Im jsut so hopless! No point wastjn yourenergy with me :( im sorry! Abise assault ans rapeee gor rhe better of me:(
     
  4. demuredawn

    demuredawn Well-Known Member

    i dont believe death is what you want....

    a good friend of mine once told that to me and at first i got rather upset... b/c i had just told him that i did in fact want to die, so i thought he was saying i was lieing....

    he came back and said

    "you just want to not feel your pain"

    which is and was very true... and i think perhaps thats what it is for you, you are frustrated beyond all belief, but at your core, you want to live... just you want to do so without the pain....

    therefore, we know that the things you have been doing up to this point in regards to resolving your pain have not worked....

    we need to find something you either have not tried or else modify something you have tried so that it has a different outcome....

    tells us what you are feeling and what you have tried to do to help with it in the past ... lets go from there
     
  5. Sky1

    Sky1 Member

    Hey again sweet,

    I can't remember if we talked in chat before or after you posted this, but I hope you'll remember what all of us in the room talked about. Things will certainly feel hopeless but there is a way out that does not come at the cost of your life. We wanna help you here, and listen to you, and help provide support for you while you seek out the help you need in person. There are options and resources out there that can help you get through this tough time. You deserve your life, a life with love, and dreams, and hopes, and smiles, but that can never come if you choose to leave it now. I hope you'll come back. Take care Sweet.
     
  6. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    hoping you're still around today.
     
  7. sweetwhisper

    sweetwhisper Well-Known Member

    Yeah I'm still here, still around.

    Demuredawn: It's true, I just want to not feel the pain any more. But because I feel like I'm not getting any better the pain isn't healing which makes me want to disappear. I don't know what else I can do though :( I've been to psychotherapy, counselling, and I have a support worker, but I'm just not able to talk about the deepest things that trouble me or even write these feelings down. I can't even attend any more psychotherapy because my dad is stopping me from going completely and I don't have any one close to me to talk to. Those who I could talk to in the past have passed away. My dad won't allow me to take tablets either for anxiety or ones to help me sleep etc, he thinks its stupid. I'm also being forced to move back now to another country, and it's really not the right time for me to move, it'll take me 10 steps back and I'll have no one at all. I just feel super lost and lonely, too many things going on at once I can't keep a clear mind.

    Sky1: yeah I remember what you all said in chat, thank you. It feels like here is the only support I am getting right now. I also tried to ring the Samaritans but couldn't bring myself to say a word. So I started to email them a couple of times but I'm not sure how that's going at the moment. I just want a quick fix but I know that's not going to happen.

    Thank you all for the support and for caring, I appreciate it.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 11, 2014
  8. Sky1

    Sky1 Member

    Glad you are still around whisp, I hope you'll be able to get some support from the Samaritans, and you are always welcome to message me if you want. It's unfortunate that your dad is removing those outlets of support and resources from you, that must be really frustrating but I hope you won't give up. Even though being forced to move back home will feel like 10 steps back, maybe, since you'd no longer be in a situation so controlled by him, it could be a first step to getting back on track with healing so you could get the therapy and the pills again. I will be hoping for the best for you.
     
  9. demuredawn

    demuredawn Well-Known Member

    Hi sweet,

    Okay, so what I'm haring you say is that you have tried a few psychotherapists (does that mean diff styles of therapy also or just diff people -- by diff styles of therapy i mean the difference between cognitive behavioral therapy and dialectal behavioral therapy and experiential therapy and etc not just diff personalities in therapist) and diff support workers that can usually access diff helps for you in your actual life too not just in your behavior patterns and thought patterns. I also hear you say that you are not allowed to have medication. If those things are true and I'm not misunderstanding, this is the advice I would give:

    - If you do not trust your current therapist AND wish to continue in therapy, look for a different therapist, possibly even do some research to figure out what the best type of therapy for you would be.
    Here is a link that may help with that: http://www.psychotherapy.org.uk/different_types_of_psychotherapy.html That is not a complete list of all therapies, such as experiential is not listed on there, but it gives a good variety to start with, you can research the web more if those dont seem to be something you may like or benefit from.
    - Try relaxation techniques such as muscle relaxation, deep breathing, mindfulness, and imagery. If you need info on any of those things, let me know and I'll be glad to give you a few links.
    - Try using coping strategies (these are just things you do in order to help alleviate the stress a little bit, this does not make it totally go away, just meant to get the edge off)
    examples of this are: playing music or listening to music or writing music, art of any kind (drawing, painting, writing journals, stories, poems, etc), hobbies, crafts, exercise, walk/run, martial arts, sports, etc
    these things both distract and cause the body to produce chemicals in the brain that help you to deal with anxiety or depression
    - Aromatherapy (i use this a lot now as I am not able to get out to a therapist or a psychiatrist, and it truly does help) Let me know if you'd like any info on this and if so what types of things you deal with that you would need help with (ie your diagnosis or symptoms)
    - Pets (including horses, dogs, cats, any kind of animal that can be tamed and treated as a pet)
    - change your diet (a lot of foods impact our emotions, i can supply you with information on this if you are interested too)
    - make sure you do not have any vitamin or mineral deficiencies and if so add more of this vitamin to your diet in food or supplement form (for instance a deficiency in iron or B complex can be a cause of depression) you can find this out by going to a nutritionist or a doctor and getting a blood level drawn.

    this is just what i can think of off the top of my head.... hope it helps
     
  10. sweetwhisper

    sweetwhisper Well-Known Member

    Thank you for your help and all the suggestions. I've thought about it all but I'm fine, I shouldn't be complaining about my silly issues. I'm fine, just going to help support people instead :)
     
  11. mark b

    mark b Well-Known Member

    agree with you about helping support others.

    its the most rewarding thing you can do.

    glad you are still with us!
     
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