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someone stupid

yeh yeh yeh.. I fucked things up really badly

I got hurt soooo fucking badly the last few weeks... and then eventually it came to the point where they flipped out, and I freaked out.. I havent spoken to them anymore after that cos I just couldnt. I've been drinking booze and having hashcookies without any break eversince... it isnt helping anymore.. i have to drink more and more and have more and more of drugs to keep the pain stuffed away.. Earlier today I had a bad trip. I had too much wine and too many hashcookies,, and I started shaking and my head started spinning and aching... and then I saw me knife.. I hurt myself pretty badly with it.. and I almost went too far with it.. so this proves I just need like this tiny bitsy more courage next time.. I guess i'm gonna go to the store soon. get me some mroe booze and hashcookies.. so that I can eat more of them. Get enough courage for it.. hehe

It's over.. I cant put them through any more than I've already put them through. It's best for everyone...


Staff Alumni
maybe you can just sleep... sounds like you should have enouth stuff in you to sleep... fix up your cut and maybe in the morning you will have a clearer thought.. dont know who u have hurt but i bet they would that you find another way settel things
Gvd ik zie hier echt niks positiefs in voor mij, vikki, matt, carolyn en nog veel meer mensen. Doe het niet, alsjeblieft. Je verdiend zo veel meer dan dit, en het is niet allemaal jouw schuld, alles heeft 2 kanten. Ik wil er voor je zijn, ik wil je helpen, ik wil dat je je niet zo voelt. Dit kan ik natuurlijk niet alleen en er zijn genoeg mensen die me willen helpen, maar dan moet je het natuurlijk wel accepteren en meewerken. Ik weet zeker dat het gaat lukken.
Misschien moeten we samen maar een baantje zoeken, lekker roddelen over iedereen van sf... Ik zou maar heel bang worden, want ik ga me nu met jou bemoeien, ghehe. Dus misschien moeten we maar een keer samen hashcookies eten. Ik zie je als een goede vriendin in de toekomst. En toekomst zeg ik niet zomaar. Ik heb nog nooit iemand echt als vriend(in) gezien. Je bent iemand die ik vertrouw, nog niet genoeg, maar dat komt wel.
Ik denk niet dat ik zo sterk ben als jij. Alsjeblieft :hug:
Hun im really worried right now, you know i don't want anything to happen to you.

I flipped out over something aswell hun, soemthing you know about, family problems and something happened that day and it just built up and that night i was sent over the edge. Im not angry or hurt by you at all, the last few days have just been one thing after the other.

You know how much i care for you and i never wanna see you hurt like this. Imagine how you'd feel if i did it, thats exactly how i'd feel. Please don't do this. We all love you so much. You offer so much here, and like i've said before YOU saved my life. If it wasn't for you then i wouldn't be here, and i dunno what i would do if you wasn't here anymore :sad: i really don't.

It would break my heart if anything happen to you! and you know it would, it would break everyones heart around you. So please don't do this, we all love you and want you to be safe.
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I cant put them through any more than I've already put them through. It's best for everyone
Its not you sweetie, im fine and so is everyone else you think you've hurt. IF you do this your be putting me thru something, if you can't put me thru anything then don't do this. Its certainly not best for me or anyone else! and you know it, so please don't do this. I love you to bits and so does everyone else and you know that. Please please please stay safe.
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