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Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by jumper, May 9, 2012.

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  1. jumper

    jumper Member

    so, i think the "relationship" with my gf is breaking up and before she fell in love with me
    i was gonna kill myself. (she fell in love with me when i was in hospital/pward...go figure... probably
    not the best way to develop healthy relationships lol)....

    Now i was happy for a few weeks, like cloud 9 "im in love" biochemicals
    but we keep fighting now.. she gives me shit about being depressive and not
    caring for her which is kinda legitame but tbh nothing i feel i can change anything
    about in the short term. My life has turned into a nightmare since end of 2009,
    i have debt and now even lost my home.. i really dont feel like keeping on fighting.
    I always gave my best, worked like a dog and overdelivered ..just have no power anymore.

    i now live at a friends place near the woods and there is this bridge where i will
    hang myself sometime soon. Just waiting for a good moment ..probably at night.

    i feel the timing is good because the illusion of a relationhip or anything
    external saving me from my depression is gone now..for good
    i lost my hope about helping myself or docs helping me after those
    two years too.. most of my friends arent worth shit and my family
    is to blame for most of my problems ..so no hard feelings

    actually im really happy to go and get this over with..
  2. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    To loose everything that is something we have no control over end of day material goods.Do you get help or seeked help with your latest thoughts as they aint healthy.Been through friends etc being there for ya you need to take care of no 1 then worry about all that get well gain some strength then things fall into place.Work is good as this earns you back what you want my advice show these ppl you are strong enough to come back.Good luck and always here for venting or talks what forum is about
  3. Sent

    Sent Banned Member

    Brah, depression sure can mess our perspective of life

    Gotta focus on tthe positive, all girls like some attention

    Take a day and just spend with her, enjoy dem biochemicals, relax, release...enjooy and just chill

    Then slowly do what needs to be done...don't think bout everything you gotta, just one task at a time
  4. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    If it helps - along with Sent's last line -

    Write a list of all the things you feel are bothering you. Analyse them one by one. Some, like the debt one, you can get external support for if you locate a free advice clinic. Perhaps your GP may be able to help there.

    Even share it with us on here if you are up for it - we could help break this down and save you a little bit of excess stress.
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