OK, I can be a caffiene junkie. It is so pathetic in power that I can do anything on it, even sleep. I even like caffienated alcohol, those energy drinks they sell, Sparks, Xtilt, etc. But there's also something else that I do. For lack of having any drugs. I don't know how to put this any other way, without it bein a method, so I'll just say I like to mix opposites-legal opposites-it changes my attitude for the better. They are supposed to work against eachother but for me they intensify eachother & put me in a completely different/better mood. I call this "putting the battle into my system" and if my system wasn't strong enough I would not survive it. I'm currently having no problems with it. I know it's not exactly good for me, but don't seem to care. I smoke less, I can concentrate better, and I'm in more control of my emotions this way..... it's rediculous but that's what happens. You'd think that I'd be shaking, unorderly & freaked out by the mixture, but I'm fine with it. I can be active or I can be chill. I handle problems better, deal with things differently, react to situations in another way than I would normally. Complete sobriety just isn't something that I can handle at this point in my life, there's too much goin on in my mind & I have to settle it down somehow, anything to make me numb. Mentally, there's just too much pain & this is how I deal.