call it what you will

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by thedeafmusician, Aug 12, 2006.

  1. thedeafmusician

    thedeafmusician Staff Alumni

    i cant do anything right by you, can i? or is it that i'm too fucked in the head? yeah, thats prolly it, isnt it? you've deemed me crazy and so you've basically rejected me. i'm not surprised... its a dog eat dog world out there, only the toughest survive.

    its sorta funny in a way... everyone seems to see me as perfect sometimes. if only they knew. or maybe they are starting to notice... i know one of my teachers is. i wonder how much she knows... how much she's pieced together, if she has at all. thats not what scares me though. what DOES scare me is that she genuinely seems to care... as does so it seems the entire freaking school. maybe i am fucked up like a certain someone thinks i am... i must have cracked it to think that they genuinely care. i mean, why should they? i'm nothing special after all.

    but then on second thoughts if they do care and they have pieced parts together... why do they still act clueless? or maybe im just being paranoid now. yup, she's definitely finally gone crazy. thats the drawback about being someone like me. you get shunned, and then you either end up being the next beethoven, the next einstein, or even the next j k rowling... you end up changing the world. or you stay shunned for your entire life... you become someone working a low paid job and getting basically nowhere. or you end up suiciding. which if i dont clean my act up and just get the fek over it, will probably happen to me. i mean, i tried twice already.... third time lucky, right?

    and now that i've finally gotten some of this shit in my head out, do you mind if i just crawl into a hole and hibernate somewhere, hopefully to never wake up again? hmmm i didnt think that you minded either. goodnight.