Calling All Members

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by CGMAngel, Mar 15, 2013.

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  1. CGMAngel

    CGMAngel Well-Known Member

    Hello everyone. I hope you don’t mind if I share some thoughts with you.

    Apparently my two most recent posts have had a combined 69 views, but only two responses. I have noticed the same occurrence with other people’s posts also: many views, few replies.

    So I am wondering if anyone has any ideas as to how we might gently encourage a few more people to engage in the conversations taking place here. Admittedly, if we were all physically standing in the same room together I would definitely feel too intimidated to speak, but behind the relative anonymity of the Internet and the pseudonyms we all use, I would hope that the majority of us would feel comfortable enough to join the discussion.

    I believe that this wonderful site’s therapeutic value rests largely on the interaction of its members. I know I, for one, take great comfort from speaking with others who seem to comprehend something of what I am going through, especially when I cannot find that empathy and understanding in any of the faces I see every day.

    A number of my personal struggles are compounded by the belief that no one in “the real world” is paying attention to me, much less taking my “cries for help” seriously. So when one of my posts has, for example, “36 views” but only “1 reply,” this just reinforces my sense of invisibility and worthlessness.

    There are many wonderful, strong, caring individuals on this forum, and some are posting responses to others constantly (you know who you are!). I am sure this provides a lot of comfort for those reaching out for guidance, empathy and support. I think virtually all of us here try to listen to each other with a non-judgemental, non-critical open mind. So I hope that at least a few of you who may still feel a little reluctant to participate will decide to take that first step because - and please forgive this corny cliché, but it’s true - I honestly believe that, often, we most help ourselves by helping others.

    So many of us are fighting the darkness and our own personal demons every day of our lives, and those who are lucky enough never to have suffered from a mental illness have, through no fault of their own, absolutely no idea what we endure with every single breath we take. Therefore, it is so important that all of us on this forum try to reach out and support each other as much as we can.

    I want to thank whoever set up this site originally, as well as those who work so hard to keep it going every day. We are all looking for answers to ease our pain, and our salvation might just be each other.
  2. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    When I feel strong, I try to help people.
    When i first came here i was intimidated and did not post for nearly a year, then the internal dam broke and I posted loads. Had some good experiences and some bad.
    Now I post if I feel I have insight to someone's situation.

    It is so hard to know what to say sometimes. All the words seem so empty.
  3. CGMAngel

    CGMAngel Well-Known Member

    Windle - thank you for trying to help others. You may feel your words might be empty, but please keep trying. Sometimes just knowing that someone is listening can be a comfort, I think.
  4. Much afraid

    Much afraid Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry I've been relatively quiet. Not really unusual for me - and you're right, part of the relief comes from others acknowledging where we are and understanding what we've said. Im guessing most aren't expecting solutions just a hint that maybe what we've shared makes sense or touches a chord in our lives. Sometimes I'm a little overwhelmed and I feel too inadequate to reply. I will try to fight that feeling and at least let others know I was there and I care. Sorry friend - thank you for this thread. ♥
  5. CGMAngel

    CGMAngel Well-Known Member

    Much afraid - thank you very much for your post. I am certainly not judging anyone here. I know how hard it can be just to breathe sometimes, much less find the strength to communicate with others. I just feel it is really important to support each other as much as possible on here. We certainly don't get the understanding, patience and compassion we need out there in "the real world." (Not sure how real it really is....)
  6. Theodora

    Theodora Well-Known Member

    I'm afraid of saying the wrong thing. Just saying "hi" or "happy birthday" I know I'm brusque. Sometimes it's the opposite, I identify, share then worry I've hijacked someone else's post. I can read a thread then keep going back to check that someone has answered. So Angel now you've let me know I will always add my tuppence worth whenever you post.
  7. CGMAngel

    CGMAngel Well-Known Member

    Theodora - thank you. I shall always welcome your tuppence worth! And thank you for raising an important point. I think a lot of people retreat into silence because they are afraid of saying "the wrong thing," yet often the worst thing we can do is to say nothing at all. I guess it depends on the situation.

    Growing up in a family environment where silence was the dictator, naturally I have issues with unspoken words...
  8. letty

    letty Banned Member

    I get worried that i will say the wrong thing lots of times, I wish i was like others that seem to have the right words of encouragement to say,
    and sometimes i feel when i do post there is silence after,
  9. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    hi. I do understand what you mean. I notice the same thing at other websites I go to. I do not start threads at any websites because it is too triggering for me if no one replies. So I just participate in other people's threads. But thats totally okay with me. I have no desire to start a thread.

    I have noticed when i read the stats at the bottom of the main forum page that the vast majority of people logged in at any time seem to be non members. So perhaps most of the folks reading these threads may be non members?

    I find it very hard to read a lot of threads. However I will say that I try to respond if I click on one and read. Fortunatly, I am a person who is able to respond. Many here, for one reason or another that they stated cannot do it comfortably. I can. So I do whenever i can read the threads. BUT still I do think that many of the people who click are not even members. one more thing that probably can add to the total number is, Often I click many times on the same thread I have responded to if I am reading other people's responses. That may happen with other people as well. :)
  10. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Letty I think I know what you mean. That sounds like how I feel when I start a thread. Its not good at all for me. I have actually asked a mod or admin to remove a thread I started for that exact reason. Now I just dont ever start one.
  11. Sea Sparkles

    Sea Sparkles Well-Known Member

    Hi CGMAngel,

    You have to remember most of the people here still suffer day by day with suicidal idealizations, recovering from attempts or debiting an attempt. Along with co-morbid problems of the depression/ suicidal issues. Anxiety could be a big reason why some people are shy on posting. Other times someone might want to speak out BUT not sure how to comfort that person, or afraid their own dark thoughts might make the member worse, so they don't respond.

    It's a very caring community here, and sorry if some of your threads seem not to get to much activity on it. People on here do care though. Possibly you can try bumping some of those threads at the time.

    All the best, take care of yourself,
  12. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Talk about coincidence, I went to antiquities part of this website and found a thread I started. I honestly had no memory of doing it. 2 replies. 200 views. I guess I did not have an attachment to it. Because I had no clue I had put it there. So I am a liar :D I had posted a thread. I will attribute the lack of memory to being, well, an antique
  13. Senada

    Senada Well-Known Member

    This. If I feel that I don't have much to say, help with or share my thoughts (or knowledge) on, I'll rather not make a reply.
    I also refrain from answering if I feel that I can't express what I actually mean in English, since English is not my mother tongue (I've already made a few posts that I regret because I think people have misunderstood me).
  14. cymbele

    cymbele SF Supporter

    I read most posts but feel inadequate about replying. Many times I would just be echoing what was already said. Just like now where I'm saying the same thing as what has been already said. I am dealing with suicidal thoughts also and feel exactly like the original poster so it's hard to reply. I can try to reply more often which is to say maybe a little.
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