calling all recovered alchoholics

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by ashes_away, Jul 23, 2009.

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  1. ashes_away

    ashes_away Well-Known Member

    I want to start drinking as soon as I get up.I watch the clock and wait till I think it is late enough in the day to start.Then I get drunk real fast and burn out fast and spend the rest of the time trying to feel better from the hang over.Then I wake up and want to do it all again.wtf
    :sad:
     
  2. mandyj101

    mandyj101 Well-Known Member

    hey there..
    im not in recovery..and i dont know if im an alcoholic..but i know i drink 2 much and iv had a problem wiv drink for quite a while..
    saying that..i know this is probably hypocritical but have u tried AA?
    they have a website .. if u put AA into google i know it comes up on the top of the search page..
    wish u all the best x
     
  3. ashes_away

    ashes_away Well-Known Member

    went once and it was great,but when I got home I just didn't have the willpower.I can't bring the meeting home with me.If I do not stop drinking now I may need to go every day but a part of me doesn't want to stop anyways.I watch the clock and tell myself if I can wait long enough then I am in control.It sucks when the next day I can still smell the alchohol and taste it on my breathe.Seems i have to do everything at once and can't do any of it.Quit drinking,smoking,quit being depressed,get on meds I can't seem to get due to this or that and my own incompetance and get a job and get it together.sigh.I know aa is the answer ,eventually.nothing anyone can do..just needed to vent.
    thanks mandy.
     
  4. mandyj101

    mandyj101 Well-Known Member

    u sound alot like myself..i seem 2 always be 'all or nothing'..have a habbit of not doing things in halves which includes the drink..
    i think its good at least u accept u have a problem..i think thats th 1st step..'admitting we were powerless over alcohol'..i should get my booty back 2 the meetings sooner rather than l8r i guess alcohol doesnt help depression..makes it worse alot of the time..but like u something inside of me doesnt want 2 stop..
    they say ppl only stop when they r 'ready'..i jus hope we both stop and /or control our drinking if we can - b4 its too l8.. but then they also say if ur an alcoholic u will never be able 2 control it as the 1st step states..an alcoholic is powerless over the drink..
    sorry for rambling! i hope i make some sort of sense..
    feel free 2 pm anytime if u fancy a chat.. :)
     
  5. ashes_away

    ashes_away Well-Known Member

    you are right mandy.I too will get my butt to aa but right now I have excuses.But it is there..a little seed of knowledge that eventually I have to stop making excuses.There really isnt ever a right time ,is there.Funny how I always try to explain everything away as not the right time.In the meantime,thanks for your responses,they mean alot to me.
     
  6. necrodude

    necrodude Well-Known Member

    im not a recovered alcoholic, but i was on a court ordered course for my drinking. i used to drink loads, 3 crates, 2 litres of vodka, and a few bottles of cider used to be a daily thing for me. used to wake up lying on park benches, in skips. i was terrible, spending like £50 on booze a day. but i quit drinking like that about 2 years ago. scared me into thinking id end up like my mum, or worse. i still drink but only once every couple of weeks. just dont feel the need to constantly be wrecked.
     
  7. ashes_away

    ashes_away Well-Known Member

    wow necro..that is amazing.You were able to take control without giving up alchohol completely..that is REAL self control.Not sure I can do that ,not sure what is going on because I get drunk on less alchohol than most people do and get sick easier...but am not ready to call it quits.Started today at 2:30 pm. My thoughts are ..fuck it...not ready to face the pain.I know this is a problem.
     
  8. mandyj101

    mandyj101 Well-Known Member

    would b good 2 know if u do get 2 a meeting ashes.. thanks aswel for posting/replying .. i think by replying 2 u i have planted that seed 2 go 2 a meeting soon- in my own head..
    thats great necrodude that u have brought ur drinking under control.. i wish i could do the same..

    :hug: 2 both of u x
     
  9. ashes_away

    ashes_away Well-Known Member

    i will make it a priority..aa!!!!!!!!! and I will think of you mandy and necro
    but today..I drink..:sad:
     
  10. mandyj101

    mandyj101 Well-Known Member

    i will be completly honest i have also had a drink 2day..
    infact sadly all i have done 2day is drink and come on this forum ..

    *sigh*
     
  11. ashes_away

    ashes_away Well-Known Member

    :sad::cheekkiss
    I will let you know when I go back to aa,and think of you.
    one day at a time.
     
  12. necrodude

    necrodude Well-Known Member

    sometimes i wish i was still drinking that much... but i went homeless during that time and broke up with my gf. i was a wreck. i wasnt medicated and i didnt give a damn about anything. my lifes still not back on track, if it ever was, but now i can at least appreciate what i have. alcohol ruined my childhood, and my teenage years and im only 22. dont let it ruin yours. :hug:
     
  13. mandyj101

    mandyj101 Well-Known Member

    thanks necrodude .. im 21 .. its always 'been there' i guess since i was about 13 ..
    if u dont mind me asking .. do u class urself as a reovering alcoholic? have u ever been 2 AA? x
     
  14. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni

    Hey I know how you feel :hug:

    I got to NA more often, because I had been using drugs too. The thing that gets to me is they say something about the fact that "we were slowly committing suicide." And I was kind of like yeah, that's the point!
     
  15. necrodude

    necrodude Well-Known Member

    nah, never been to AA. i was a guinea pig for L.I.A.M. low intensity alcohol module. wasnt like we were trying to quit, it was like how alcohol affects your body, different stages, pig and poe, mainly about drinking resonsibly. but yeah i've been drinking since i was like 5, raiding my mums booze cabinet. but nah its not quitting thats hard, its remembering when you've had enough thats the problem. and i wouldnt say im a recovering alcoholic, im a reformed alcoholic. i get the urge to drink a lot, but its like smoking in a lot of ways.
     
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