calm in the crisis

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by weeble, Feb 9, 2012.

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  1. weeble

    weeble Active Member

    Everything is in total chaos but tonight i feel the calm.

    I went to pick up my little one but her nanna had already promised her a sleepover so am on my own

    my first thought was that I can do it now

    I have everything to live for, really I do, I have the most amazing child ever, I am just about to finish my degree with grade expected of a very good 2:1 even pushing a first. I have amazing friends and some fantastic family

    but I feel a million miles away from everything

    am not even part of the same world

    there is this barrier, the only time I can be part of the real world is by using this mask which is all but broken now

    I am broken, unfixable

    no panic just nice and calm
  2. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    I wonder why you feel like this?
    What caused your mask to break?
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    When you hold your child there is no mask You child feels your love your child sees YOU not a mask but love If you are feeling like you will harm yourself look at your child do not destoy that child world by leaving instead go get the help and support you deserve to feel better Talk to someone who is impartial a professional who can help you hun okay
  4. weeble

    weeble Active Member

    Am still here, I know my child needs me, I think thats the hardest thing in all of this. Knowing I have to stay for her, I know very well the pain of the aftermath of suicide and I cant do that to my own child yet waking up knowing I have to face another day seems impossible.
  5. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    Can you look at your life as an outsider, and change any of the things that cause you distress?
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