It is not that I feel angry, depressed or sad at the moment in fact I am very calm. I was thinking over life, What is the point of it? I can not see the excitement, the joy that could make me want to carry on. The bases of our lives is to grow up, get education, get a job, work in that job for the rest of our lives and then die. And the only reason we have a job is to have the money to live. why? Everyone is living the same pattern, yes we might have our own stories or variations but we do stay somewhat to the same trail. Should it not be easier to end it now and skip a few steps? Because that is all it is, skipping a few steps to death. To me I can not see the end of my life or even a future. I just take it as one day at a time. I have a few ideas for the future but that is all they are ideas. Ideas which do not mean anything, ideas because I can not form a solid plan. To me my "Future" is blank, like a canvas and I do not want to paint. Not like I do not want to have a future...just that I do not believe I have one. I am not going to try anything I don not think. I will wait till I talk to the mental health clinic plus I feel to relaxed to try at the moment, though for no apparent reason. I thought I would share this revelation/train of thought with you, the way I see my life.