Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by Lyiana, Sep 16, 2016.

  1. Lyiana

    Lyiana New Member

    I moved to Cambodia when I was 32 to do some international volunteer work. I thought I knew the world. I also have already had very severe PTSD which I was able to largely recover from about 2 years prior to moving to Asia. I left for Asia because I was so unhappy, exhausted, overwhelmed and bored. i lived overseas alone since 2002 and it was time to figure out a path elsewhere.

    Prior to living in Cambodia, I have traveled to Asia. I trekked to Mt. Everest base camp alone, I've been to India alone, I had even been to Cambodia before. I've done a lot of travel, I have see and experienced a lot of things, I thought I knew it all.

    The following things are what happened to me in Cambodia.

    1. I was robbed by two men on a motorcycle.

    2. I became friends with a guy from Africa who I thought belonged to my organization. I hung out with him because he seemed to have a girlfriend / finance from Australia. When I went to his house I got drugged and raped multiple times. I couldn't leave his home for almost 48 hours, because I was so drugged. I don't remember the first rape, I thought I had actually escaped it. I had no idea and no memory. But I remember one of the times, so I know unprotected sex happend. Can you imagine what it means for an african to rape you in Cambodia? Without a condom? The fear of HIV, and other diseases - plus the possibility of pregnancy. I waited 5 weeks to deal with it. He contacted me because his ..."girl friend" found out...and he threatened me. I eventually confirmed no pregnancy - but I remained in Cambodia because if I was pregnant I was not following it through.I was alone, scared, but I could not be pregnant. It took almost 2 years to confirm I was disease free. But can you imagine. Cambodia has one of the highest HIV prevalence in the does Africa. Just imagine.

    3. A few houses from where I lived, there was a "ministry". It turned out to be a drug house, with Nigerians. One night I walked to a local shop to get a few things; stupid me. It wasnt far, but it was around a corner. As I walked there (3 minutes), I passed a Nigerian and thought nothing of it. When I got to the store I picked out what I needed and paid. I looked outside....and 8 Nigerians had congregated out the front. I was alone, female and white with long red hair, and I knew immediately that I could not leave the store. I knew if I did, I would be gangraped and or killed. I turned to the shopkeeper and I said "can you please walk me home"? And he looked at me confused. And then he said "are you afraid of the black men?" and I said "yes, I need you to walk me home". I knew the africans were afraid of the Cambodians and if he walked me home, I would be safe. He walked me home. As I looked out the shop (with no doors) I remember hearing one of them say "there she is". I would have been destroyed if I walked out into that group alone. Destroyed.I made a good decision and I never went out alone again. Eventually....all of those Nigerians were arrested and deported.I honestly don't think I've ever been that terrified.

    4. I was in a tuk-tuk alone with a driver I knew, on my way to a western type store to buy groceries. It was a very busy road, full of chaos - motorcycles, tuk tuks, cars, cycles, animals....and I remember seeing off in my perephial vision, these two Africans. One was very large, and the other was very muscular and wearing a camo and gold necklace. I just noticed them cause they stood out, but there was nothing else. I arrived to the store about 20 minutes later. As I was walking in, those very same men came up to me. They told me they saw me going past and followed me. They wanted to be...friends. I said no and immediately left and found my driver.

    There is so much more, my world view has changed.I already had PTSD world view had already changed.How can I reconcile this?

    the End.
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi @Lyiana I am so sorry you went through this terror. I cannot even comprehend what you must be going through but I will tell you this, you are one tough cookie. One really tough cookie. No one should have to go through the horror of rape or fear, but you survived and came out alive and physically safe.
    Are you seeing a therapist at the moment? Are you in treatment for the PTSD? I am so sorry you endured this. It makes me angry that those thought nothing of abusing and raping you, how dare they?!
    Please talk to us more, I have been through rape myself but nothing close to what you went through, please go to your local rape crisis centre and get all the help that you can. You seem like a nice person, you did not deserve anything of this, none of it. I hope and pray you will be okay!
    Thanks for sharing your story with us, that was brave of you.