I moved to Cambodia when I was 32 to do some international volunteer work. I thought I knew the world. I also have already had very severe PTSD which I was able to largely recover from about 2 years prior to moving to Asia. I left for Asia because I was so unhappy, exhausted, overwhelmed and bored. i lived overseas alone since 2002 and it was time to figure out a path elsewhere.
Prior to living in Cambodia, I have traveled to Asia. I trekked to Mt. Everest base camp alone, I've been to India alone, I had even been to Cambodia before. I've done a lot of travel, I have see and experienced a lot of things, I thought I knew it all.
The following things are what happened to me in Cambodia.
1. I was robbed by two men on a motorcycle.
2. I became friends with a guy from Africa who I thought belonged to my organization. I hung out with him because he seemed to have a girlfriend / finance from Australia. When I went to his house I got drugged and raped multiple times. I couldn't leave his home for almost 48 hours, because I was so drugged. I don't remember the first rape, I thought I had actually escaped it. I had no idea and no memory. But I remember one of the times, so I know unprotected sex happend. Can you imagine what it means for an african to rape you in Cambodia? Without a condom? The fear of HIV, and other diseases - plus the possibility of pregnancy. I waited 5 weeks to deal with it. He contacted me because his ..."girl friend" found out...and he threatened me. I eventually confirmed no pregnancy - but I remained in Cambodia because if I was pregnant I was not following it through.I was alone, scared, but I could not be pregnant. It took almost 2 years to confirm I was disease free. But can you imagine. Cambodia has one of the highest HIV prevalence in the world...as does Africa. Just imagine.
3. A few houses from where I lived, there was a "ministry". It turned out to be a drug house, with Nigerians. One night I walked to a local shop to get a few things; stupid me. It wasnt far, but it was around a corner. As I walked there (3 minutes), I passed a Nigerian and thought nothing of it. When I got to the store I picked out what I needed and paid. I looked outside....and 8 Nigerians had congregated out the front. I was alone, female and white with long red hair, and I knew immediately that I could not leave the store. I knew if I did, I would be gangraped and or killed. I turned to the shopkeeper and I said "can you please walk me home"? And he looked at me confused. And then he said "are you afraid of the black men?" and I said "yes, I need you to walk me home". I knew the africans were afraid of the Cambodians and if he walked me home, I would be safe. He walked me home. As I looked out the shop (with no doors) I remember hearing one of them say "there she is". I would have been destroyed if I walked out into that group alone. Destroyed.I made a good decision and I never went out alone again. Eventually....all of those Nigerians were arrested and deported.I honestly don't think I've ever been that terrified.
4. I was in a tuk-tuk alone with a driver I knew, on my way to a western type store to buy groceries. It was a very busy road, full of chaos - motorcycles, tuk tuks, cars, cycles, animals....and I remember seeing off in my perephial vision, these two Africans. One was very large, and the other was very muscular and wearing a camo and gold necklace. I just noticed them cause they stood out, but there was nothing else. I arrived to the store about 20 minutes later. As I was walking in, those very same men came up to me. They told me they saw me going past and followed me. They wanted to be...friends. I said no and immediately left and found my driver.
There is so much more, my world view has changed.I already had PTSD and...my world view had already changed.How can I reconcile this?
the End.
Prior to living in Cambodia, I have traveled to Asia. I trekked to Mt. Everest base camp alone, I've been to India alone, I had even been to Cambodia before. I've done a lot of travel, I have see and experienced a lot of things, I thought I knew it all.
The following things are what happened to me in Cambodia.
1. I was robbed by two men on a motorcycle.
2. I became friends with a guy from Africa who I thought belonged to my organization. I hung out with him because he seemed to have a girlfriend / finance from Australia. When I went to his house I got drugged and raped multiple times. I couldn't leave his home for almost 48 hours, because I was so drugged. I don't remember the first rape, I thought I had actually escaped it. I had no idea and no memory. But I remember one of the times, so I know unprotected sex happend. Can you imagine what it means for an african to rape you in Cambodia? Without a condom? The fear of HIV, and other diseases - plus the possibility of pregnancy. I waited 5 weeks to deal with it. He contacted me because his ..."girl friend" found out...and he threatened me. I eventually confirmed no pregnancy - but I remained in Cambodia because if I was pregnant I was not following it through.I was alone, scared, but I could not be pregnant. It took almost 2 years to confirm I was disease free. But can you imagine. Cambodia has one of the highest HIV prevalence in the world...as does Africa. Just imagine.
3. A few houses from where I lived, there was a "ministry". It turned out to be a drug house, with Nigerians. One night I walked to a local shop to get a few things; stupid me. It wasnt far, but it was around a corner. As I walked there (3 minutes), I passed a Nigerian and thought nothing of it. When I got to the store I picked out what I needed and paid. I looked outside....and 8 Nigerians had congregated out the front. I was alone, female and white with long red hair, and I knew immediately that I could not leave the store. I knew if I did, I would be gangraped and or killed. I turned to the shopkeeper and I said "can you please walk me home"? And he looked at me confused. And then he said "are you afraid of the black men?" and I said "yes, I need you to walk me home". I knew the africans were afraid of the Cambodians and if he walked me home, I would be safe. He walked me home. As I looked out the shop (with no doors) I remember hearing one of them say "there she is". I would have been destroyed if I walked out into that group alone. Destroyed.I made a good decision and I never went out alone again. Eventually....all of those Nigerians were arrested and deported.I honestly don't think I've ever been that terrified.
4. I was in a tuk-tuk alone with a driver I knew, on my way to a western type store to buy groceries. It was a very busy road, full of chaos - motorcycles, tuk tuks, cars, cycles, animals....and I remember seeing off in my perephial vision, these two Africans. One was very large, and the other was very muscular and wearing a camo and gold necklace. I just noticed them cause they stood out, but there was nothing else. I arrived to the store about 20 minutes later. As I was walking in, those very same men came up to me. They told me they saw me going past and followed me. They wanted to be...friends. I said no and immediately left and found my driver.
There is so much more, my world view has changed.I already had PTSD and...my world view had already changed.How can I reconcile this?
the End.