came out....want to get back in

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by taranama, Dec 23, 2007.

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  1. taranama

    taranama Well-Known Member

    so i came out recently to a good friend of mine i'd trust with my life who knew i had a history of SH, depression, etc...

    and i did not get the reaction i had hoped for..granted i was too cowardly to tell him face to face so i told him over yahoo messenger. he went mad and now i feel like shit. he was disgusted and basically told me there was nothing he could do to help, that if i need help, i need to get it myself, and not whine about it.. he proceeded to say "you think i'm gonna comfort you after all this time, and you choose to tell me over a f**cking computer.."
    (he was really mad about the whole computer thing..)
    ..... he told me i was playing mind games, and that really hurt me. cos like...yeah, i *totally* do this because i wanted to play mind games.... sorry for feeling like..

    while i agree that coming out to him over the internet wasn't the most...tactile thing i could have ever done, i can't help but to think how would he have reacted if i'd had the courage to tell him face to face?

    i'm so gonna regret this tomorrow...
  2. thedeafmusician

    thedeafmusician Staff Alumni

    Some people act out and get all angry because they dont know how to react. Maybe your friend is one of those people? Its a scary thing to know that someone close to you is hurting themself, so maybe he's just not sure what to do and so because of that he's pushing you away.

    Give it a little time maybe, and see how he reacts. Good on you for telling someone though - it can't have been easy. :hug:

  3. geolab101

    geolab101 Well-Known Member

    it was a good thing to have told a trusted person.

    sometimes even the people you trust the most can react really unpleasantly when they are unable to express how they really feel. it is more of a communication error on your friends side and nothing more.

    i kind of came out to my friends over an online means... it went okay for me but there also was some face to face interaction later.

    perhaps you could slow the situation down by scheduling a time and place to discuss the issue at hand. this way both of you could collect your thoughts.

    good luck. you did the right thing.
  4. taranama

    taranama Well-Known Member

    thanks a mil for your advise and kind words..
    its nice to know that others are supportive..
    but worse to know that its not those who are immediately involved in my life...
  5. cayzira

    cayzira Well-Known Member

    We may not be immediately involved in your life, but that dosen't me that we don't care about you. All I know of you is the 258 words you've posted, but just from that I genuenly care about you.

    Your friend just didn't know how to react to somthing like this, I know that hearing that dosen't help a whole alot, but it's the truth, right now he's proably worried about you, even if he won't let himself see it. The fact that his reaction was so strong should show you that he dose care.

    It sounds like he's being abit difficult over the whole internet thing, I can see why, but it's hardly fair (When I "Came out" some of it was online, just cos it was so much easier) if doing over the internet was easier for you, then it was the right thing to do, no matter what anyone else says.

    Reaching out for support and telling someone you know about your self injury is a very difficult thing to do, I guess when people react like this, it dosen't exactly help. I hope this dosen't discourage you from trying to rectifye things with this guy.

    Take care, ok

    I hope things work out for you
  6. taranama

    taranama Well-Known Member


    thank you so much, your post means alot to me :smile:
    i hope it gets easier for the both of us cos right now it just sucks :sad:
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